Is �The Shire� a nice way to say �Vermont?�
Today, while watching The Return of the King I decided that I want to dress as a Pepsi Can so I can get dates with hot Emo girls dressed as Lisa Loeb in a Hot Dog Costume.
My sister missed that movie moment as she was peeing. If I had a magic ring I wouldn�t want one that made me invisible if it could make public restrooms clean.
Well, while she was gone the man behind me kept kicking my seat so I turned around and said, �Now is a good time to stop kicking my seat!� Note to Self: Look before you get all Testosteroni on someone�s ass. This dude looked like he had marched right out of Mordor. He wasn�t watching an Epic Motion Picture. He was watching a home movie. He could see his house from the seat. Ugly.
You know you�re an important human in Middle Earth when the Elves lend you some shampoo. That�s something I noticed in watching those movies: Elves and Royal Humans have clean hair. The Stewards of Gondor? You could cook fries in that grease. Don�t give me any of that, �They were in the woods,� crap because the Elf always had clean and neatly braided hair and he still managed to kick a lot of butt in the movie. The Stewards proved that humans are dirty, they had that nice big city and it didn�t look like that Steward has been submerged in anything beside his own filth and flamboyant clothing in quite a while.
The King doesn�t wash or comb his hair until right before his coronation and I bet the Wizard had to hold him down to do it too.
I�m at my parent�s house for the next couple days and their dog hates me. Read about Buddy�s tail and why their dog should and does hate me.
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