obnoxious troglodytes
Yesterday I realized a new diet program that could be a winner. It�s called, �eating with kids.� Have you ever eaten with boys? Boys have some special, special table manners and as much as I enjoy teaching at Saint Spritopias School for Boys I don�t enjoy eating with them, my nephews or my cousins. It�s just disgusting.
Emily had the pleasure of meeting them and is the only friend (besides the Jeremy himself) who have met and experienced them. She can attest to the fact that I am not joking. The home schooled ones put on a command performance of retardation for Emily, at one point dousing her with root beer and then bombarding her with dumb jokes all night long. The poor girl, I feel really guilty.
This is my pronouncement: home schooling is bad. Sure, some kids turn out normal and successful but my cousins needed the shit beat out of them a long time ago. Sure, public schools are sometimes rough but so is life. School is supposed to prepare you for adult life, not delay it. I�m sure there are normal home-schooled children out there � I haven�t met them. This is what I�d like to say to home schooling Moms:
1. Your child is only special to you. The rest of us can�t stand him.
2. Your child may or may not be smart, how do you know? You only know your kid.
3. The kids in my class aren�t the smartest, but they�re not nerds or obnoxious troglodytes
4. If I had taken one of my kids from my class at birth and NEVER allowed them out of my sight and had no life of my own, teaching them all day everyday they�d be �brilliant� too.
5. And like your child would fear the planet.
6. And like your child would have no friends
7. And like you, I�d have no friends
8. There is so much more to school than academics and you kid is missing it all. The biggest part of the pie has been cut out for him.
It�s really sad that his craziness is catching on.
