Fantasy World/Alternate Reality discussed
In my fantasy world people refer to me as Prime Minister and I live in a palace not unlike the Forbidden City. They don�t make fun of my spelling and grammar. Don�t think for a second that because people refer to me as Prime Minister that I am in charge of anything. I have a small role as Prime Minister but all I get to do is deem people unstable and issue sanctions. You�ll hear me from my kitchen yelling, SANCTIONS! SANCTIONS! But that�s about all I get to do in that job. Sometimes I give a speech or a rebuttal. I used to be a Master Jedi and accomplished a great deal, but that was before I met my ex-husband.
My ex-husband�s name is Kristy and we have twelve Cambodian children together. She runs around in a kimono and makes me stay in the kitchen barefoot and cook for her. I take care of our children and try and teach other oldest, James, wrong from right. He now works for the U.N. helping to educate people about obscure African Nations that no one will ever visit.
Kristy is a wildly successful economist and Alan Greenspan gets all his good jokes from her. I never get to meet Alan Greenspan; I always have to stay in the kitchen.
Melissa Potter is the Princess of All in our fantasy world. She is the aunt of all the Cambodian refugee children. They all bow to her when they see her, although Nate has a bad habit of yelling unstable when he sees her. I don�t know whom he learned that from.
My mother is the Empress and Pope: Candace of Jurchen, Ruler of All. Her reign is as long as one of my stories. She is five thousand years old and has reigned for 2000 years (ever since her death and resurrection in Palestine). She is responsible for every great achievement in Human Civilization and would have nothing to do with it but I can�t remember where I parked the Mother Ship. If you�ve seen Star Trek Four, the Voyage Home, that scene where Captain Kirk tells them �Everyone remember where we parked� is an inside joke about leaving the cloak on and not leaving a door open. The Great Wall of China was meant to keep my and my estranged sister, Amy, apart because we fought too much. The state of Iowa was incorporated to be a breeding ground for idiots to serve the Jurchen Dynasty. My mother now lives in semiretirement with her harem of men that includes many great actors and musicians. Elvis isn�t dead, Mom got a haircut.
