cartoon hair birthday
1. I accidentally did my hair in a curved mirror and looked like a cartoon (an ass) all day
2. Hanging out with my �home girl� Mary
3. Mullet hunting with the Family
4. Dirty, filthy hippies protested my birth
5. Sleeping in until seven thirty
6. Yodel snack cakes and Starbucks for Breakfast
7. 10 things? Forget it.
Check out Buzz Net for the excellent pictures of this equally excellent adventure.
Saturday we were supposed to see the Dali Exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum but our feet dragging led us to missing out on tickets and seeing the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia instead where Mary got to spend the day with my God Parents and Cousin A.
Our day started out as all days do when the family is on a scheduled road trip, late. We woke up late, drug our feet getting ready and eating breakfast and then once out the door spent too long spending too much in the gas station food mart on things that will only prevent another birthday from occurring. Mary was expecting us at nine-thirty; we arrived around ten-thirty.
My directions ended up getting us lost on the way to Mary�s house. I can take direction but I can never give it because I have no confidence in my ability to find Point A from Point B. I also lack the discrete skill of knowing right from left, north from south and I eschew maps. After getting us un-lost, completely on accident, we found Mary�s apartment where the lobby door was locked added to Mary�s busy phone leading me to scream at her window, �Mary, you�re fired� while making Trump-like movements with my hand until Mary opened the door.
We then traveled with Mary�s coherent directions to the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia which did not help us find parking, so we circled that area of Philadelphia for fifteen minutes ending up where we started and parking there for a good four or five hours.
The Franklin Institute is full of the witchcraft and lies that liberals enjoy calling, �science.� They had a huge thing called a �heart� that you could walk through to see how blood travels around that fictitious organ before being transported around the human body. There was also a flight simulator that I tried to kill Mary in, and a bike that you rode two stories in the air on a tight rope. I still do not know what the bike had to do with science, it was probably just more witchcraft.
The best part of the science center was when Mary learned that I am not just a mullet hunter, but that it is a family event that we are practiced and efficient in executing. First, my Aunt is the spotter. She finds the mullets. Then Cousin A pretends to pose near the mullet while we take its picture. We also use this technique for incredible, pants eating wedgies and other unnatural events going on with other people.
The tragic part of what we did was the father of the mullet was sitting near Mary and heard everything we were saying and doing. We should have been ashamed but we were too busy. We took pictures but Mary announced her own genius by inquiring �Is that Raggedy Anne or Andy?�
Later, outside the Philadelphia Art Museum, gangs of dirty hippies were protesting my birth and a mob had been formed to lynch my mother. I shouted at them from the moving car and I am sure that they heard me and cared about my opinion. This was during our �we�re lost in Philadelphia for no apparent reason� time on Saturday as we drove around discussing what we could do before going to Starbucks to await our dinner reservation.
Dinner was eventful only because my family is eventful people. My Aunt and I had a huge argument where we were talking about two different things and then since there were no hard feelings we moved on to discussing really bizarre topics.
I wrote the previous post Friday during my planning period. The music teacher has her last day next Friday and we were talking about the things she had done to lose her job. The only thing ruder than gossiping was her listening in on us gossiping without making her presence known to us.
