Condoleezza isn't a made up name?

AOL�s welcome page has absurd advice: �do not yell at kids, it doesn�t work.� I never yell at children because it is effective, I yell at them because it is fun. If my students were perfect angels, I would have little to write to you.

I exchanged emails with Margaret about the ability of Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to unhinge her jaw and swallow children and small adults (i.e. little people, dwarves, midgets*) whole. I have seen her do this; it is impressive. Anyone seen Former Labor Secretary Robert Reich lately? Do you see what I mean? Bush may have the two most racially diverse cabinets ever, but only Bill Clinton had a leprechaun.

However, the super-power that I would like to have of hers is the ability to burn people alive with her eyes. If you had her ability to cause someone to combust, you would only need to use it once. Once word went around the school that you burned a disrespectful child alive with your eyes classroom management would be a breeze.

This is why Senator Barbara Boxer, (D-CA) took to wearing those ugly glasses. Those glasses not only give her 20/20 hindsight and her ability to look past her own incredible failings in respect to our National Security but they also ward off a possible attack by Dr. Rice.

You have no idea who incredibly annoyed I am that my last name is not in the spell check (and the last name is incredibly common) but Condoleezza is apparently common enough to be in the dictionary of acceptable words.

* My attorney, Nicky, assures me that �little people� is the all encompassing, least offensive way to refer to people of diminutive stature.