sometimes I'm not a part of the problem, I am the problem

One of the things I strive to avoid in the workplace is the gossip. I really try not to be in the office politics because there are few things I enjoy more in life than gossip. Gossip is a terrible thing but I�m usually on it like white on rice. I should have been a dirt salesman.

However, I�ve also found the best way not to be the topic of gossip is to not participate in the gossiping about others. The hard part of that, beyond missing out on being a Gold Medalist in the Office Special Olympics, is that you have to not listen to people gossiping. I find this hard because you have to stop listening to people talk about whatever they want to talk to you about, you loose your credibility as someone who is an active listener or someone who will help you with a legitimate problem. People also sometimes need to vent about someone, to say ridiculous things, realize what they had to say was ridiculous and move one with their lives.

However, when you listen to someone gossip or even bitch and just nod and say, �uh huh� you get implicated in the gossip as a gossip yourself. Then you�re stuck justifying later, �Oh, I was just listening.� I usually don�t want to know what they had to say anyway.

Yesterday I had to tell the Pastor�s wife that I wasn�t interested in listening to her gossip because, God forbid, it got back to the person that I was gossiping about them when all I was doing was listening to someone politely when if you think about it there is nothing polite about listening to someone gossip. I told her that I had nothing bad to say about the person and wouldn�t entertain unkind words about another person. They do a good job and they have a lot on their plate, perhaps what she wanted them to do (which was at the crux of her diatribe) wasn�t important and that�s why where putting it off, perhaps it was something she should do herself, perhaps I wasn�t the person to bring this complaint to but someone else.

And, in hindsight, perhaps I shouldn�t get louder and louder as I chastise someone in a gymnasium full of people, perhaps you should never gesticulate with a kitchen utensil it makes you look like you�re threatening them with a weapon and end up looking like a lunatic and perhaps next time I should just roll my eyes walk away and mutter, �Bitch, please!� under my breath but that would be too easy and not cause even more problems for me than I have tried to solve.

Heaven help me, no one else seems to be able too.