R.I.P.
I used to have that friend, the woman that looked like a man who spread nasty rumors about me and my friends because she was incredibly boring and unbalanced?
Well, she�s died. Apparently on a Friday night weeks ago she bored herself to sleep and whatever dream she dreamed bored her clean to death. She is mourned and survived by the AARP � the Androgynous Americans Repulsed (by) Personality.
She was found after her mother realized the smell that was making her so incredibly hungry that she ate that cat was coming from Stephanie�s but it would take her another couple of days to realize that Stephanie was indeed dead.
She will be missed greatly by the people in her therapy group, who when interviewed by agents of Spritopias stated, �I�ll miss her so much!� Sorotute Brenda Richards said, �I knew that when I was feeling down that Stephanie would be there. I�d listen to her talk, look at her horrible posture and boyish good looks and then think to myself, �at least I�m not her!�
Fellow drop outs of the University of Louisville had memories as well, one such person said �I, mean, I thought I was related to her because I thought, �I would never choose her as a friend she must be a cousin or something! She�s stop by my dorm room and I would know it was her and I lay in my bed pretending to be asleep hoping she�d go away.�� By �University of Louisville� I may have meant, �Every last College in the entire Commonwealth of Kentucky.� Most people just said, �who?�
Camille Lau Chang, one of Louisville�s most voluptuous citizens had her own memories of Stephanie commenting about a time she saw Stephanie in Men�s Express. �I was there buying my boyfriend a shirt because it was his birthday and I saw Stephanie there and she was wearing a button that said, �GLAD.� I thought it was a joke. Who knew it was an organization on the University campus?� The button was later taken back due to Stephanie�s lack of status as a student at that (or any) University.
As was the standard experience of her life Stephanie will be missed but in a different way than before.
