I am Wendy Olson's lover

Ohhhhhh! Someone told me that WENDY! Is going to read my web page tonight! Wendy is my old boss from where I used to work. That is the biggest lie I�ve told on this page. In order for that to be true I would have had to have done something at that store to consider it work and she would have had to get out of her chair and stop my from being lazy. You know shit had hit the fan when Wendy got out of her chair. Those of you who have read this for a while know that Wendy is the bomb, the bo diggity, and shizzle. I don�t know what I�m saying.

I wrote this excuse to Wendy.

I got my acne medicine in my eye tonight and FUCK ME RAW it hurts like hell, but it won�t damage my eye. They better not be shitting me on that one and if they are I had better get a KICK ASS glass eye out of this.

I watched Forrest Gump tonight because it was on TV and I haven�t mustered the will to buy a new DVD. I started a list of the similarities between myself and Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump sounds like Ted Zanaglio Life is like a box of chocolates or Why are you fighting me?, Quit it, Chris Stewart, 6-1-4

However like Forrest Gump: I was born in Alabama, have an IQ of 75, I had braces on my legs, I am Kipp�s bitch, I have a friend named Jenny, Jenny from the Block taught me to read, I don�t know when to quit talking, I fought the Vietnamese (but mine are nine and ten and in my class).

I stopped watching when the acne medicine got in my eye. Don�t ever just put the acne medicine all over your face for fun because you�re bored.

I wish I had an idea like Dick Wolf�s, creator of the Law and Order franchise. If you have cable you can ALWAYS watch a Law and Order program on some channel somewhere. Fred Thompson left the UNITED STATES SENATE to be on that show. You know your gig is hot when people leave the Senate to be on it or when I hang up on Poison Control because it�s on. Who needs two eyes?