Hillary Rocks Caf�
Last night I had a dream that I was out to eat in a new restaurant with some of my friends but my friend Justin, who was there, wouldn�t talk to me and every time I moved near him in the crowd while we were waiting to be seated he would move away from me and give me this, �Fuck off, Jerk!� look. I was quite confused. Dana, the First Lady of Shepherdsville (probably the only and most likely the last) kept dragging me around the restaurant to show me things. Finally, I stopped trying to go near my friend Justin to see what was up and followed Dana around until we finally were seated for dinner.
The restaurant was a Hillary Rodham Clinton themed restaurant which was decorated like a Hard Rock Caf� and called, Hillary Rocks Caf�. There was Hillary memorabilia all over the place and the gift shop featured Hillary Rodham Clinton�s books, wigs that looked like her multitude of hairstyles while in office, her husband�s Jazz CD, stuffed versions of their pets and Clinton Family Bobble heads. There were also dart boards that featured both Presidents Bush, Newt Gingrich, Monica, Gennifer Flowers, and Paula Jones. Flammable Kenneth Stars were also available for sale as well as Jennifer Neely for President shirts.
The food was very artistically presented but didn�t taste good at all. All the foods had names that referred to the Clintons in some manner. At Shogun you can drink out of a ceramic Buddha, Geisha or Ninja but at Hillary Rocks Caf� you could drink out of ceramic woman Senators from both parties. I choose Elizabeth Dole, Christine Butler got Senator Braun, Dana got Senator Boxer and Nathan got Senator Hutchinson because it finished his collection. We all had cherry cobbler for desert because Angelina Jolie was our waitress and she insisted that Maddox, her son, enjoyed it a lot and since Nathan is Cambodian he�d like it too.
Well, I used the dinner/dessert interlude to go look for my friend who was ignoring me. I wasn�t going to be ignored and this restaurant was his choice to begin with. I finally found him playing the Packman where it�s actually Bill Clinton eating Big Macs and being chased by Whitewater investigators. I started to play the pinball machine next to it, this machine featured Hillary�s world travels and you had to knock down the terrible tyrants she opposed while building up democracy in South Asia. I asked, him, why are you avoiding me? Coming here was your idea! He looked really pissed and said to me, People are trying to kill you, you fool! He pointed to an area near us where the Tupperwear Cartel of Okolona was watching us. He hadn�t be avoiding me as much as running interference. You angered them when you got a catalog from a Highview Cartel member and now they want you dead.
I wasn�t worried and I didn�t believe him, that was until I was hit over the head. I woke up in a large tupperwear being burped and I saw the fat faces of the Okolona Tupperwear Cartel as they pushed me into a large refridgerator to spend eternity. I looked all around to see if there was some way out. On my left I noticed that Justin too had been kidnapped and he gave me the middle finger and mouthed, �You stupid fucking Mongoloid! You�ve gotten us both kidnapped.� I rolled over again to see out the other side and Betty White was in my Tuppercofffin and she said to me, back in Saint Olaf we wake up when our alarms go off and I woke up. I hope Justin woke up and isn�t still stuck in some tupperwear.
Betty Already is the Diary of the Day.
