who do you have to sleep with to get some teflon pants around here?
We�re in the midst of ramping up for the Christmas Pageant � indeed the worst Christmas Pageant ever � and since my kids are big enough to hold their own without me I have been conscripted to aid in the care and logistic considerations of the Preschool Class.
The two year olds are fickle, they�re twins and it�s not certain how much they�ll actually participate in the pageant. Two year olds comprise one of three groups in the preschool the other two are boys who are afraid of Mr. Stewart and boys who think Mr. Stewart is a giant playground made of tissues.
I am usually given the care of those of the wee people that are afraid of me when they�re naughty since the ones who worship and adore me wouldn�t be so focused on their task. The ones who fear me are usually sprung from the temporal hell of my care when they shape up.
When I don�t have the Munchkin Landers who fear me I have the Munchkin Landers who are two. I�ve mentioned that they are twins and all the twins at our school they�re fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. The boy is developmentally delayed, it amazes me that they can tell with a two-year-old but they can. The girl however is advanced by can be a little strange. They are adopted and will be three sometime very soon.
Today I had the Boy Twin Munchkin Lander in my care because he will not be in the pageant. He�s just too little for it. His twin, however, will be and nothing has anxiety quite like a separated set of twins, especially tiny ones.
Well, he didn�t seem to mind today while his sister clearly minded. So, I had this kid on my lap during the sitting parts because I can then put another preschooler on each of my sides, thus having that much more control of the situation.
Well, Boy Twin Munchkin Lander was sitting of my lap doing two-year-old things like picking his nose and wiping the boogers on my pants, coughing and sneezing and covering the orifice with his previously excavating hands and then wiping them on my pants.
I put two notes in my Palm Pilot: Get Teflon coated trousers (I use that word a lot), sneak up to the apartments and change trousers. As soon as I had slipped the Palm Pilot back into my pocket the Munchkin Lander half turns to face me and says, �I have to potty,� and potty he did.
I signaled to the Preschool Teacher that he had to potty but I felt it was perhaps too late. He had peed his pants and as my holiday bonus peed my pants as well. I picked the Munchkin Lander to my left up and over me and, then with my irrigating buddy shimmied out of the pew. She slipped out her side of the pew, took the wet one to change him and I went upstairs took a shower, changed and started laundry all in under fifteen minutes.
I�m going to bed and I hope to wake to a dry day, like a big boy.
