we love you ms hannigan

Several people have asked what Second and Third jobs are. I cannot tell you this because I would loose Second job and maybe Third job if I went blabbing that around the internet. I have no idea why that bothers companies because I am clearly NOT in my right mind and neither is anyone taking me seriously.

My boss takes our job too seriously. I should be respectful of the man, he IS running a business but he is running it like the Turkish Prison he grew up in and I am sorry but I am not THAT open minded about things.

He keeps telling me that he is just looking for an excuse to fire me. He must be blind. I have perhaps one of the easiest jobs there is and I cannot seem to figure it out. Everyone has had this job and succeed at it, then moved on to better things but not me. I will be toiling away at Second Job until I figure it out.

They probably think I lied on my application when I said I went to college without specifying that it was a clown college. I am sure they are thinking as they stand around do nothing and watch me ruin their business, �this guy is a joke, he didn�t go to college. Colleges do not offer Special Education.�

When I am in charge of an operation I have just one rule: if you catch me picking my nose you had better not say anything or I will can you. Not our boss, he puts the bang back in Bangladesh. He is on us all the time, we never work fast enough and when we do work fast enough we do a �sloppy� job. �This is too sloppy, no one wants to eat that.�

People don�t want to eat THAT because it�s been sitting under lights since yesterday, it has nothing do with where Mr. Kenobi put the pickles.� Boss man LOVES Mr. Kenobi, he wants to take Mr. Kenobi to his Neverland Ranch and share some �Jesus Juice� but Mr. Kenobi is wise to this. Poor Mr. Kenobi, he seems to have been put at our job to suffer. To make Boss Man more comical he is about four feet tall and has a mustache. I am sure he is growing it out into a handle bar mustache. I hope so, that would make him a great villain, a Hawiian shirt would make him look like Tattoo from Fantasy Island.

If our boss was allowed to beat us, he would. I am quite sure that our fallen friend, Edmundo, is really chained up somewhere being beaten or worse right now. He wasn�t fired he�s been raked over a fire right now.

I like to imagine our boss playing with Star Wars action figures that he has painted (poorly) to look like us in his office. I imagine that he listens to �The Imperial March� as he drives into work, swerving to hit people�s cats and puppies that have strayed from their yards. I also imagine that when he finds this page I will learn how to say, �You�re Fired,� in the native tongue of Hell itself.

The coolest thing he's ever done was this: this oldster was complaining to him and as the old man is going on and on as the old have want to do Boss Man's cell phone goes off. Boss man ANSWERS it and walks away from the still bitching man. This makes him great, and evil, all at once.