Back when it meant something to be a Jedi
Everyone looks forward to something and I am looking forward to Wednesday Night. I am going to that place where I eat chicken wings with my sister and a friend of hers and then we are going to see Star Wars (opening midnight). I have hope that this film is not as disappointing as the other two can be, certainly I liked them, but they were substandard compared The Empire Strikes Back and Jar Jar Binks made ewoks palatable.
If this film is terrible, I do not know what I am going to do. Natalie Portman is hot, Yoda is always fantastic, and Samuel L. Jackson and Ewan McGregor are action sequence gods � but that does not carry a movie.
I am happy to be able to roll out some of my favorite one liners again, such as:
I was killing your kind back when it meant something to be a Jedi.
I thought I recognized your foul stench
Watch your mouth kid, or you�ll find yourself floating home.
I hope this movie is more than a cheesy, poorly done critique of the Bush Administration and has some substance. Although, my sources indicate that: John Ashcroft IS in the new Star Wars movie and that Janet Reno was actually John Ashcroft in drag.
Please, help my sister by clicking this link and joining her online mafia so she will shut up and leave me alone about it: Join Chaos� Mafia! . I am counting on you, my loyal readers, to help he win this contest.
The Emperor will not be as forgiving as I am.
My parents, and grandparents, always say my apple feel far from the tree and rolled under the one marked, �Hazel.� Hazel is my Great Grandmother � and really the only biological Grandparent who views it as a responsibility to me instead of me being some sort of trophy that is dusted off at holidays and for family events.
I rant about the unpleasant circumstances surrounding my Grandmother�s dying, death and burial but the poignant moments before her death concerned her mother, our (truly) Great Grandmother. I was the only person that she was able to speak privately to before she died (such is the controlling nature of our Grandfather) and she expressed how the one thing she wanted, the only thing that was important to her was that her mother be taken care of after she herself died.
Again, at her funeral, the pastor spoke on the part of Christ�s Passion when Jesus was on the cross and turned over responsibility to his mother to John. This was a coded message to us that we were to take care of her mother. She knew we would all be there and that given the opportunity to speak, I would have chosen other topic. My Grandmother picked this topic to remind us, �take care of my mother.� I have not always done a great job, I have not been a fantastic grandson, but I have not dropped the ball.
On Mother�s Day only my sister, my father (and mother) and I called her from our family. No other cousins, and none of her other grandsons or granddaughters-out-law, called her on the very first mother�s day when she no longer had children. It makes me sick.
Yes, I went around to each of my cousins and said something awful to them. Those bastards, we were asked to do one thing in our entire lives by our Grandmother and we could not do it? How hard it is for people with unlimited weekend minutes on the cell phones we all have to give the woman a call and wish her a Happy Mother�s Day? They are absolutely disgusting; I am ashamed to be their cousin.
In addition to that, I have to say that Golf Widow�s obvious devotion to her mother L� Empress is touching. Golf Widow is one of the few artists who is better in person and L� Empress is truly regal. Everyone I met this weekend (discussed in the previous entry at greater length) was truly fantastic.
