Fowl Language

The biggest problem I have in my classroom right now is the illicit use of foul language. I count myself lucky. The attending problems with foul language are hurt feelings and tattling. Some who has to tattle is the most annoying student in the world because in many cases I cannot discipline someone for their language choices if I did not hear them say it and I do not have a great cloud of witnesses.

Some of the children have an interesting response to the use of foul language. The fourth graders not involved in the foul language have taken to responding with bird calls they have called, �fowl language,� since homophones and homonyms have been the theme in our spelling lessons this week. When someone uses foul language, the children make bird noises at the person in protest. I call them �nerd calls� because while the talent is impressive, it is also definitely geeky.

Today, the chief user of foul language is going away for several weeks on trip back to his country of origin to see the orphanage where his parents found him. We are having a surprise party to farewell him this afternoon and we discussed what the best snack for the party would be and the girl who does the best birdcalls said, �fortune cookies � with curse words in them.�

Cursing in our classroom is big and clever.

The most comical part of their cursing and use of foul language, as rare as it actually is, is their use of the worlds. They have no idea what they are saying so it comes out wrong. Some words, like the �f� and �s� words can be adapted to all parts of speech. English is elastic enough that most words can, but �go bitch yourself� has yet to find a home in my comfort zone with grammatical conclusions.

Speaking of Grammar:

On our field trip, we passed the hallowed halls of Yale University in New Haven. The children began immediately discussing how they too would be attending Yale and what they would be studying. One boy lamented, �I am not good at grammar! I will not get into Yale.� I told him, �Many things are important to know to get into Yale and succeed there. Grammar is not one of them, and for that matter: neither is public speaking.�