Buca de Birthday
Saturday my Uncle, Aunt and cousins took me to Buca de Beppo for my birthday. It was a fun time but nothing is �in and out� easy when I�m there. It would have went down like this had I not been there: my family would have been seated immediately, easily decided what to eat and went home without the interference of the civil authorities.
My aunt is a thinking woman (read: conservative) and made reservations, by no means was that into consideration in seating us. The cousins waited outside while the adults waited inside. We thought it was only going to be a minute. We were wrong. Just as nature abhors a vacuum and teachers abhor excuses, Stella abhors being wrong.
Stewart women are rarely wrong and when they are no Stewart Man would admit it (around them) without also being fleet of foot. I�m twenty-six now, I�ve known my mother to be wrong once and that�s my father�s fault for feeding her bad information. It may not be true but it is the party line.
We waited for probably ten or twenty minutes, tops. We whine just to make sure we�re still alive. After a while the cousins came into the lobby to be molested by the throngs of obese people waiting to be seated. Bathing and wearing deodorant must be something that is only done by my family on a regular basis but even our fat people don�t smell bad.
We were finally seated after the eternal standing time. The problem really was that Dan (the boy cousin) and I had not eaten all day. Dan is active. Christopher is fat. This becomes a problem especially since I like to eat myself into diabetic comas.
We sat and Buca de Beppo�s gimmick is family style dining. We had to choose what to eat but since it was my birthday I had to help. I can choose for myself but I had trouble choosing for everyone. As a fat person this responsibility was too great because I can�t imagine someone picking something I hated.
It wasn�t family style enough for me. There was no fighting or throwing of food. The next time I got there I want to be bitch slapped by my aunt or something. Dan and I should have had a knock down, drag out fight just to make people feel at home.
We ate, lots of food. It took me a while because I had no fork. I didn�t even have a chicken bone to improvise with. I was, for reasons unknown, too timid to ask for one. I did walk around and make sure there wasn�t a stray one alone on an unused table. Finally someone asked the waitress for one.
They also told the waitress not to sing to me. She didn�t sing to me. She sang to Keith which is what she thought my name was. I didn�t have cake; I had cannoli. I never had a cannoli before but the next time I do I�m going to have a toothbrush. It was sweet.
I had a lot of fun. I got a fork from my cousin Dan, as well as his old socks, goldfish crackers and CDS from my Aunt and Uncle.
This entry is now longer than the actual dinner.
This is a link to a picture of my Cousin Daniel that you can color. �Single, Free to Good Home� He�s a real tiger; I don�t think you can handle him.
