put down the rodent

My students have gotten a little lax on their homework lately. Doing it correctly and then neatly is a big task if they do it at all so I�ve decided that I was going to get at the lack of initiative in the homework department. The best way to do this, I think, is to ask them why they�re not doing their homework and get at their excuses. If I expose their excuses as shams then I can get them to start doing their homework � either that or they�ll be so tired of talking to me they�ll do anything to shut me up.

Johan, and God bless him, always does his homework but this week it�s dropped off and I called him over to my desk and said, �Johan, what�s up? Your homework hasn�t been getting done this week. What�s going on?� He looked very ashamed because Johan is a good boy, not brilliant but hard working and so Johan says, �I haven�t been doing my homework because I�ve been stroking my weasel.�

Ever feel the world lurch to a halt? I felt like I was in one of those science fiction movies where their ship gets hit, the set stays still but the cast flings themselves forward into cheesy pyrotechnics.

I took, �stroking my weasel� to mean something a little more tawdry than your normal talk with the teacher fare and as I�m used to teaching 8th grade where stroking the weasel is a part of their daily routine I wasn�t so much shocked but at a loss as how to respond to the comment. I wanted to tell him, �It takes one hand, multitask.�

Now, after taking too long to process what he said, I turned my head from the computer screen where I was standing 90? Right and 35? down to face him and said, �what?�

Apparently, his mother has gotten him a pet weasel and he doesn�t play with it. If he doesn�t play with it everyday she�s going to give it to someone else.

Was I ever relieved to hear that!

No, for those of you who create mental pictures of things like that � I don�t � please add in the fact that when this kid concentrates really hard the vein in his forehead pops out and his lazy eye goes haywire and spins like a top, if I could put a video up I would. I can just imagine dear Shelley hitting herself on the head trying to get the picture out of her head, remember when he concentrates the vien pops out and the lazy eyes bananas.

Also, his spelling words this week included: steady, stroke, spray, strap, thrill, straddle, beat, bait, bate and master, I giggled all though the test and hadn�t through the pretest because I thought, that poor weasel has no idea what is going on, does he?