today at church
Today at church everyone apologized about my car being attacked while on the property of their church (reminder � I live here in the church). I was the usual affable Spritopias kindly reminding them that situations like this are why my people invented and now gouge them with insurance.
Insurance provides for situations like this, however, I don�t think I could ever damage my car or yours enough to get all the money I�ve put into it back. My people are clever, are they not? I think this is why we�re not well liked, you�re jealous.
Anyway, I was affable about the situation, joking that the people must have needed my things more than I did, that they�d be enduring my poor taste in music and it was high time I cleaned out the car anyway. Ha, ha, ha! I am so funny.
There was no use being bitter about it and it�s like Jeremy and my Grandfather always tell me, don�t get mad! Get even.
Jeremy has a very dry sense of humor and said he�d be up here shortly to show me how to vandalize cars but first had to go to work to contribute to the fund so that slackers everywhere could go to the liquor store.
One thing I notice at church was that old ladies have death grip handshakes and they don�t let go, do they? No, they don�t. I think they know something we don�t. I think they�re draining my life force or something when they shake my hand. They are sapping my youth from me to keep themselves all just a little while longer.
