just give me what I want & no one gets hurt

The other day during an unfortunate bout of Christmas Shopping my mother and I wandered into Brookstone. Brookstone and the Sharper Image are clues to the shopper that you have hit a certain level of desperation.

At one store, the salesman was trying to sell me the flashlight that will save my life in a parking lot. I wanted to tell him that where I park my car a flashlight is not going to help you at all unless it is going blind your attacker.

I also already have this flashlight and only use it to shine into my cousin�s eyes when I am being a jerk. I have never and will never use this for the intended purpose. The salesman continued showing me the flashlight after I politely told him that I was just following my mother around, that I already had the flashlight and never use it, and if I am not using a gadget I doubt anyone else would either. I am the prince of gadgetry in our family; I have all the toys, and if I do not like it no one else would.

I am really surprised I did not have an episode punctuated with me knocking down a display and screaming at the salesman. He should have tried to sell me something else because I was on my last leg going into that store, I might have dropped money on that Segway. I don�t need to buy one if I already have one and don�t use it, what will I do with two?

Now I go back to the Mall, this time with Dad. Check the Buzz Net to see how hard I am rocking it.