citcalag
Chances are that your Grandfather loves/d your Grandmother. Chances are that even if he didn�t that he at least was kind to her, took care of her and when she died gave her a proper internment. Chances are that your Grandfather wants all of his Grandchildren to be friends, get along and at least behave in public. Chances are that your Grandfather isn�t the psychotic ass master that my Grandfather is but fear not, dear reader, chances are that when your Grandfather is a psychotic ass master you would have learned after twenty-six years to kick ass and take names later.
The wake/viewing was something else. When we got to the wake a little bit after it started and the room was remarkably full of people. I�d say that seventy-five percent of the people in the room where relatives of my cousins. Our family took the fun out of dysfunctional its nuts, it�s scary and you have to be ready for it. Additionally, our mother�s families know this and take this into consideration. My mother�s family doesn�t do that but the cousins who I am close with had so many aunts and uncles there that there was no need for me to worry. No one was pulling anything, and no, it being a wake wouldn�t stop any of the real crazies.
Dan couldn�t, go to the wake. Before we left his house he pulled my sister and I aside separately and told us to take care of his little sister, Alison. We had to watch Alison. She had no idea what she was getting into and even when you do you are never really prepared for what happens. It�s always a shock.
The mistake that I had made when I visited my Grandfather the Wednesday before the wake was not being �competition ready,� my training as a debater leaves me with a professional comportment and courtly manner that allows me to triumph, every last time. I am afraid of my Grandfather, he is evil and you never know what he�s going to do. I didn�t make this mistake on Friday at the wake. I was on top of my game. I used all of my skills honed at the University for Academic Debate I got through it and everyone I was tasked to look after.
My sister is another story. We call her the Princess and no one is better at being a Princess than she is. She walked into that room like she owned it and everyone in the room was blessed to be in her company, not to mean that she�s a bitch or somehow elitist, she just carries herself with a comportment that communicates her position of strength. She�s got more aristocratic Prussian blood in her than ten Kaisers but she�s easily the smartest, most articulate person you could ever hope to meet and no one can work a room or a crowd like she can. She can charm the snakes and always could. It was amusing to watch the most offensive of our family members avoid her. It would have been more amusing to watch her take apart and reassemble those people but she wasn�t interesting in taking that tack.
The wake wasn�t as bad as we had all feared but I also think that the fact that thirty people from my cousin Alison�s family showed up and took up half the room helped a lot. I scored big points with my Grandfather by keeping him away from my youngest cousin on orders not just from her brother but also from his Mother in Law.
Great Grandma couldn�t make it and she was concerned about the care and protection of her Great Grandchildren and made that abundantly clear to me. Grandpa thinks that his family is a patriarchy where he somehow rules the roost and we all cower in fear of him (he really does) however we all answer to a higher power and everyone knows that Jesus dated Great Grandma and they are still friends today, 2000 years later. Grandpa hates her and the most beautiful thing in the world is the knowledge that most of his children and grandchildren march to the beat of her drum. And she bangs, she bangs.
The day of the funeral was different. I went to my cousin�s road race and that was awesome. He won and made it look easy. The race ended two hours before the funeral but because someone contested the results we ended up being late to the funeral. A word to the wiser than I: don�t be late to funeral if the widower hates you. It�s not a good idea. My father held up the works for us and everyone who doesn�t like me has one more reason.
Since the wake was remarkably tame and we knew what we were up against I again was not on top of my game. I got back up quick but not before my Grandfather could get one jab in at someone that I cared about. It�s my failure for the weekend and ruined any good I accomplished this weekend.
It was really horrible. My Grandfather could pretend to care about Grandma or his children or us. Someone should have been cared about during this last week but we had each other and that�s all we have ever had or will have.
