the first random jennifer coolidge awards

You know that bleach commercial that shows the person in suspended animation over their dirty sheets? Ever wonder who lives like that?

:::raises hand:::

I change my sheets once a week but apparently that isn�t good enough. This morning when I woke up I had my hand under my pillow and I felt sand.

Now Jenny from the Block (jkookz731) will tell you that I�m dainty and don�t do the dirtier things in life. She took me to the fair and I wasn�t about touching the animals at all. The idea that I have a sandbox under my pillow makes me wonder if I�m really dirty or if the tooth fairy does exist but with a sick sense of humor.

Either are possible in my world.

In Other News:
I hate my diet; I hate it a lot. Diets are stupid. I hate them. I want a root beer float, real bad. I�ve never wanted a root beer float in my whole (adult) life. This garners the first annual �Coolidge Award� of something I want, �real bad� in honor of Jennifer Coolidge who is funny and voluptuous.

I will continue with this damn diet but I am going to have the ice cream Friday, no one can stop me.

My toilet just flushed itself so I am going to go to work now and pretend that I didn�t hear that.

No, I didn�t see �Legally Blonde II � children are starving in places you can�t find on a map but you�ll give money to this shit� I was victimized by the preview and now know that quote. Real bad.