be like the phoenix

Yesterday I was tired of everything and ready to quit my job. I�m tired of working all the time. I�m tired of the emotional drain that my job creates, how it sponges everything out of you and in turn you sponge all the heartache, grief and trauma from your students and combat the fact that you can�t always help them and their parents often won�t.

It was so tired of my job that when my boss informed us that we would be going to a teacher�s conference in Massachusetts I balked and said, �not no, but hell no� and when I found out I had to pay eighty-five dollars for it I had a hard time keeping, �Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!� firmly between my teeth. My contract states that the fees are paid for me by the school � I�ll not pay that kind of money to go on a trip I don�t want to. That was the signal that my day was bad but it was more the doppleganger that stalks me; not anything tangible. It�s a demon I don�t like to wrestle and I�ll move heaven and earth to avoid that confrontation.

inkdragon reminds me less of a dragon and more a phoenix. Each day we�re reborn to face new challenges, stronger from the ones we�ve already me but unfettered by them and able to move on with life � only if we want to. Today I do.

Today I�d like to sit on the couch with Joanna and watch eighties brat-pack movies all day and do a whole bunch of nothing. I have to work. I have to be like the phoenix.