something that is more than, "only fair"

I don�t know when Diary Land is going to let me in again. As an AOL user I�ve been stymied lately so I�ve broken my prohibition on ungodly long entries. There are five sections. Read and reread at your leisure.

Lost and Found

Last night before bed I have convinced myself that I had thrown my paycheck in with the junk mail. I know I should get direct deposit but my job doesn�t offer that. There are probably not fifteen employees where I work so it�s not an option. If someone wants to give me a good argument as to why that�s a crock of crap, I�ll love you until the next catastrophe in the melodrama I call life.

I found it, crisis avert and being as I don�t have CBS I didn�t see the Super Bowl and if it hadn�t been for inkdragon I would have had no idea what I was in for after bus duty this morning.

I�m sorry Ms. Jackson, but are those things real?

I know they�re all ten and eleven but those are nice breasts on a well-maintained body and they bring up the topic of my previous entry, a great deal and despite lusting in my heart like the worst of one term Democrats I was happy that I was warned about it before I hit the books. I�m glad I knew what they were talking about this morning in the coatroom.

But seriously, who hasn�t seen her breasts? And, who can blame her? If I were that old and/or in that good of shape I think I would have a hard time keeping my clothing on too. I remember that album that came out after Rhythm Nation where her then husband was leaving very little about her breasts to the imagination.

Not having CBS is a very bad thing.

Recess

Today was the first day in a long, long time that we could actually take the kids outside. You�d have thought that I had give the boys each a million dollars. I was worshiped as a minor Hindu God for about fifteen minutes. I even broke my �No homework, no recess� policy and set the captives free. Who knows when we�ll be out next? I�m not sure so I had to let them go.

I can be soft sometimes but I prefer to be a hard ass. This could be my undoing even if I told them their sentences weren�t commuted only delayed.

Someone (else) Thinks They�re Funny

Some teacher retired and donated all their old stuff to our school. I haven�t bothered to look through it because it looked like a heap of musty old garbage and if I wanted to deal in that I�d spend more time with my Mother�s parents.

Well, the first floor teachers looked in it. They�re cool like that because they can make something out of nothing. I�m in awe of them and because I can�t shine on the professional level that they do so I�ve decided that I should be the staff clown. All the other teachers are old enough to by my mother so I get away with a lot and by a lot I may have meant �bloody murder,� but that�s one body that�ll never be found.

In that musty pile of books were several gems and one of those gems was a sex education curriculum. I cried, genuine tears. I want to talk to a room full of ten-year-old boys about their penises about as much as Michael Jackson wants to have sex with a woman his own age. This is no secret.

Besides, who am I to talk to kids about sex? Shouldn�t someone with personal experience in the subject talk to the boys? I�m trying really hard to become the patron saint of virgin school teachers, I�m hardly the person to talk to them. It would be like Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon having a round table with the boys about truthfulness or Bob Dole and Dick Gephardt talking about how to run a successful Presidential Campaign after winning the Iowa Caucuses.

I�m not the man to talk about it unless this is really a plot to get the boys to abstain from sex for the rest of their natural lives. Then I�m you�re man because no one has quite made me a man yet.

It was a funny joke. Funny but not unbeatable.

To answer the question of which song best represents your life right now? Here it is:

Call And Answer

Words & Music by Stephen Duffy & Steven Page

I think it's getting to the point
where I can be myself again
It's getting to the point
where we have almost made amends
I think it's the getting to the point
that is the hardest part.

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I'll point you home
I'll point you home

You think I only think about you
when we're both in the same room
I'm only here to witness
the remains of love exhumed
You think we're here to play
a game of who loves more than whom

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster

You think it's only fair to do what's
best for you and you alone
It's only fair to do the same
to me when you're not home
I think it's time to make this something that is
more than only fair

So if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I'll point you home.

But I'm warning you, don't ever do
those crazy messed up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you I'll be the first to crucify you
Now it's time to prove that you've come back
here to rebuild.
Rebuild
Rebuild
Rebuild