some lights seem eternal
in this springtime of hope

I Think, Therefore IKEA

June 11, 2005

Spritopias is on a tour of the Republic, traveling from Stepford, Connecticut to Seward's Folly, Nebraska for Graduate School (your mom goes to college) and will be reliably online Wednesday. In the interm, the constitution of Diary Land demands that someone fill in during his absence (preferrably Vice-President Creepatron or Secretary of Snark Golf Widow). This entry is persuant with our obligations to the constitution and our community standards.


My subconscious is such a teenager.

The second it realizes I'm not paying attention (whether I'm engaged in a boring activity such as laundry folding or listening to That Man of Mine talk about golf, or falling asleep, which is the same thing), it immediately says, "Party!"

Unfortunately, being Me is not a job for the faint of bladder, so I often come back early and spoil the party. And my subconsious, teenager that it is, has, as usual, left a mess. Brain confetti everywhere.

But it's my brain, and I won't be able to rest till I tidy up, even if I don't empty the trash till later. Which is why I'm up at the crack of stupid, writing this.

And I'll be leaving the trash bags at http://spritopias.diaryland.com, because he is out of town and will never notice. Heh.

Anyway, when I got up to have my early morning (Thanks For Drinking All That Nice Healthy Water Now Get Up and) PEE, I found my subconscious standing in the doorway, looking extremely guilty and trying to hide the following clump of brain confetti from view:

Anacin Sinuswalker is influenza-ed by the evil Senator Palpitations to turn from a life of Good to spreading cold germs across the Galaxy. He loses everything he loves when his beloved wife, Snotme, chokes to death on a cough lozenge. Anacin takes on the nom de guerre of Dark Nasal in the new film Revenge of the Sniff.

Directed by George Mucus.

May the Snorts Be With You.

I would like to thank President Spritopias for allowing me access to his playground, and for trusting me with his password, knowing that it would take the utmost of will for me not to go through his archives and correct all his spelling errors.

— Guest entry posted by Golf Widow, Secretary of Snark

4:54 AM :: 3 comments so far ::
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