*Second Edition*
Diaryland Trading Card!

Description: Well dressed conservative New England Schoolteacher fighting ignorance with humor and wit using the skills honed from years of journalism and academic debate and the lingering remains of a New York accent.

Strengths: Has a brain the size of a planet, sees the humor in EVERYTHING and a fierce sense of loyalty, propriety and patriotism. Extremely idealistic, orthodox Lutheran.

Weaknesses: Apple Computer products, kryptonite, Volkswagens, Japanese, German, Jewish or Italian food and Belgian Chocolate. Is also extremely idealistic and prone to �tilt at windmills.� Horrible speller.

Turn Ons: Conservative commentary, intelligent conservation, a sense of humor and people with black hair and green eyes. (Spritopias is a closeted Italian)

Turn Offs: closed minds, angry liberals, religious fanatics, excuses and naked men.

Weapons: Pen, Paper, iBook, iPod, Digital Camera, Camera phone, creepatron, personal army of boys trained to diagram sentences and kill.