Canada. Oh Canada!
Spritopias is on a tour of the Republic, traveling from Stepford, Connecticut to Seward's Folly, Nebraska for Graduate School (your mom goes to college) and will be reliably online Wednesday. In the interim, the constitution of Diary Land demand that someone fill in during his absence (preferably Vice-President Creepatron or Secretary of Snark Golf Widow). This entry is pursuant with our obligations to the constitution and our community standards.
Guest entry posted by Suburban Island.
Who is Suburban Island? Well, I will quote the great Spritopias here. He sums it up this way in a 2004 pre-election entry:
She is the Room Mother of Diary Land, and because of my matriculation to the presidency of Diary Land, she is now the Barbara Bush of Diary Land (the mother of the President, not alcoholic daughter). Since Diary Land is actually a service based in Canada, she would be the Queen Mother or something similar, she is not dowdy so we are just going to refer to her as the Barbara Bush.
Enough said. I hope that gave you a little dose of real Spritopias prose to keep you going until his return.
Last week I was in Toronto for a conference and I learned a lot of things I didn�t know before. Many of them had nothing to do with the conference. I share these non-conference findings with you now in a Top 10 Things I Didn�t Know About Canada List:
- Their money looks like so pretty it could be play money but it is not. In Toronto I hold change in my hand like a 5-year-old and hope that people will think God is testing them and be honest in taking their due.
- They think soccer is a big deal and will wear national flags - of other countries - draped around their shoulders like capes if given half a chance. The stadium was down the street from our hotel so I witnessed this phenomenon first hand. Go Italia - I think. Or something like that.
- Even though they seem inordinately fond of soccer, there is a whole building dedicated to hockey in Toronto - the Hockey Hall of Fame. Hockey is Canada�s official winter sport. Lacrosse is the official summer sport. That�s what I understand anyway. The Stanley Cup is there. Some people will find this exciting.
- It gets surprisingly hot in Toronto. I only got to wear my jacket on the airplane and at night over my jammies in the air-conditioned hotel room.
- The legal age for imbibing alcohol is 18 - much to the joy of my soon-to-be-19-year-old daughter, who had accompanied me on my travels. Cocktail, please!
- They have streetcars in Toronto. I didn�t get to ride on one but I liked that I could have if I had wanted to do so. Cities with streetcars are more picturesque somehow. We rode an amphibious vehicle around town with a tour guide instead. Life is full of difficult choices.
- They have a lot more traffic than I imagined including traffic backups. I felt right at home.
- It only takes about 90 minutes to travel from Toronto to Niagara Falls and get amazed in a way that glass and brick building cannot amaze. Nature is an awesome mother.
- They film a lot of movies in Toronto. They are filming one there now. People in movie crews stay in the same hotels as the rest of us and they think that because they will be staying for awhile they can be loud, boorish, and inconsiderate. I obtained a free night�s stay thanks to the obnoxious film folks in the room next to us who were so noisy that we didn�t get to bed until 6 AM. 9 AM really stinks on three hours sleep. So does having to switch rooms because the folks in the room next to you think common courtesy is measured by length of stay.
- Somebody in Toronto is wearing my almost-brand-new pair of Birkenstocks - the trendy new ones they are making that almost don�t look like Birkenstocks at all. They went missing when we switched rooms. Just when you think all is well in the world someone walks off with your shoes - literally. I suppose that�s the price we pay sometimes for a little peace and quiet.
I�ll be writing more about my trip to Toronto on Suburban Island. Thanks to Spritopias for asking me to write a guest entry. Nobody can replace the wit and wisdom of Spritopias however.
Guest entry by Suburban Island - Sunshine 24/7.