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in this springtime of hope

GolfWidowPolooza

January 03, 2005
I am hosting GolfWidowPolooza, which will celebrate Golf Widow�s 1000th day as a nonsmoker, right now I am planning on booking: U2, Dave Barry, and Maroon Five. We will meet at Hops on the Berlin Turnpike or some place in Mystic that has a tawdry name so Kipp and I can giggle all through the dinner that we are eating a place called �Seamen�s Inn� or the like. Paul and Suburban Island would sit there mortified by Kipp and I. It will be great.

The President of the United States will show up with Lisa Loeb so Golf Widow can correct their grammar and logic in person, Kipp will smoke 1000 cigarettes (at once) to protest nonsmoking, and Martha Stewart will give a presentation to That Man of Hers on how to buy bed sheets. Al Gore will be on hand to admit that he invented he invented the internet so Golf Widow could spread her snark to the entire planet. The Pretend Internet Boy Harem will pay homage to her, I will sing a duet of �I�ve Got You Babe� with Pandionna. It will rock.

On my budget, we will be lucky to sober up Whitney Houston and go to Mc Donald�s. God knows that Governor Roland and Senator Edwards are not busy at the moment. We would have this at Martha Stewart�s house but she has been a right bitch about the house sitting arrangement I worked out with her that I would not even bother her about it.

On May 12, 2005 we will celebrate Golf Widow�s amazing achievement. Rock it with us!

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Remember, with out Golf Widow, there would be no Spritopias. How sad is that?
11:20 PM :: 5 comments so far ::
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