Workin' My Way Back to You, Babe
Guest entry posted by Connie Cobb:
This is completely and totally odd, this guest entry business, mostly because it's like you're left alone in someone else's bedroom with absolutely no chance of getting caught as you rifle through their belongings. Like, I totally sneaked a peek at Christopher's Buddy List and I felt like I was reading his diary... well, like his real diary. Er... whatever. You get the picture.
But, I digress. So, I have known Christopher/Spritopias in an online, quasi-dysfunctional/antisocial way for a while now - I think somehow he started reading my jibberish or vice versa and now he's Mr. Popularity of Diaryland and I'm still struggling with my "art" over at what was once Mrs. Marvin Gaye's Daily but is now an ode to NYC. And while I cut and pasted that first paragraph as all guests have done thus far, I thought perhaps we should really review what's going on:
* Christopher, due to his highly-publicized breakup with one of the Jennifers, had to get out of town and get out of town fast. That "going to college" bit was actually a red herring - he's left Stepford to pursue the lucrative and emotionally-rewarding (albeit high stakes) career of avant-garde modeling in Nebraska. That's why he's been going on and on about the no-carb - it was his boot camp, his git-on-and-git-ready for the next stage in his life. (PS. If you are terribly interested in those that go to college, I hear Tommy Lee will be fulfilling all your romantic dreams on his show this Fall.) We wish him (C-dog, not Tommy Lee) all the luck in the world, as NE is a low-down, dirty place - full of deceit, corruption, and wildness not unlike Vegas. It will be tough, but he will prevail.
* Everyone that was chosen as a guest-entry-writer is really just Chrisopher, pretending to be the author. None of these people are actually writing these words - this has all been a ruse, a "crafty strategem," in which our individual styles are wildly satirized in what can best be described as only interesting to those being made fun of. It is flattering, really, but only flattering because Christopher (who is, in fact, writing this) has decided that it is. It's also his way of proposing marriage to each lovely lady that he imitates. Even though some are married already. With children and mortgages. One word, peeps: Homewrecker. Six words: Ridiculously good-looking and dashing homewrecker.
* At graduation, Christopher also wore a bolo tie. His diploma will be mailed to his new address in Model City, Nebraska, but the principal is very, very disappointed in him.
Alas, Nebraska will undoubtedly be less hot than the east coast right now, which has had a ginormous magnifying glass looming above it for the past couple of days. Plus, soda and gas will most likely cost a little less. And people will be less neurotic and maybe a little more dateable (read: less Woody Allen, more Rob Reiner). The nights will smell good, although they probably smelled fine in Stepford - they smell like 1400 rats having a dinner party in a beer-soaked garbage can here in NYC. Overall, it will be a good time. BBQs, straw hats, dirt-kicking... the whole shabang. Mmm. BBQ.
This is the Cobb - out.
