Now with Splenda!
Guest entry posted by Jyram the Keeper of the President�s Skeletons in the Closet.
Unlike most people, I have the honor of knowing Christopias in REAL life. I knew him before he was famous!
The thing about spending time with Christopias is that there is never a dull moment. Knowing I�d be writing this entry, I was worried that a meal at Pizza H and a trip to Tar-get would not make for an interesting chain of events.
Boy, was I wrong.
First of all, I somehow made it ahead the 10 car pile-up that Christopias got caught behind. This made for about 25-30 minutes at his relatives place in NJ. I admired some of Cousin A�s artwork (it puts everything I�ve ever made to shame) and heard some great stories about dead people as well. (CSI seems to bring these things out in people.)
After deciding to eat at Pizza H, we were greeted by a lovely exuberant server. Our Lovely Exuberant Server will be known from this time forward as LES. LES sat us by a family that Michael Jackson would LOVE to be a part of. This family knew how to show love. Not only did they compliment each other on their wonderful belching, but they were practicing perfecting what Bill Cosby would call a �zerbert.� You know that funny sound someone makes when they vibrate their lips against skin� this family had it down to a science. On each others faces. The too-old-to-be-sitting-on-laps girl had a great time sitting too close to our table on her tattooed mother�s lap. I couldn�t quite read the tattoo but I think it said �Your Mom.�
While enjoying the lovely sounds of the people sitting near us, a sudden tidal wave of soda washed over us! LES was walking by with a tower of half-full (ever the optimist I am) cups, which, with impeccable timing, tilted just in time to give Christopias and I a splash. He got much more of the spillage on him than I did. The very apologetic LES got us some napkins and was on her way.
After our soda bath, we decided to head to Tar-get (pronounced tar-zhey because we�re snobs like that). On our way there, Christopias decided we hadn�t had nearly enough excitement in our evening. So he decided to play chicken with a house-van. This van was so advanced; the bed was strapped to the roof. We suspect it belongs to the people we sat near at Pizza H. After narrowly escaping death (or at least looks that could kill) we finally arrived at the Tar-get parking lot. There we found the longest row of carts I have ever experienced. With the impatience to walk around the mile-long row of carts, Christopias and I decided to climb over them. Christopias, of course, being Christopias, almost broke his ankle, but I went over smooth and easy. Like a cat.
Once in Tar-get we did our shopping and the ever-generous Spritopias purchased a little notebook in which I could write my thoughts (because I have a terrible memory) to remember what I want to write about in my diary. He also purchased a Diet Coke made with Splenda. Such generousity!! He bought these things for me because I won the prize of finding the best sunglasses for him first.
To sum up the evening, it was a typical Christopias evening- abounding in excitement and laughter.
And now made with Splenda.
Posted by Jyram
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