The Battle For Everything
My sister, the genius, helped me pick out my clothes because I am color-blind. We had one of hell of a time at Abercrombie & Fitch, which I have the distinction of being the customer when it was un-cool (Hemmingway did it, I will too) and my sister has the distinction of shopping there when they still made clothing for women.
In my old age, I will admit that Abercrombie & Fitch is hell. It is hell on you wallet. It is hell on your self-esteem. It is hell on your sense of hearing. Where in the world do they find such awful music and who told them that bad music is improved at great volumes? This idea has been around for years but I am positive that started when they started. I did get a new pair of shorts (in a size smaller than that worn in High School) and a t-shirt � the price of which could have kept Taiwan free and independent from the People�s Republic of Capitalism for a decade. It is a very clever t-shirt.
At the last store we went to we were looking at a Polo shirt sale. My sister vetoed one shirt that I wanted and then commented that one of the shirts was her favorite. It was the same shirt, the one I picked out was folded, and the one she picked out was hanging up. She redeemed herself by scoring me an argyle Polo shirt. Now it can be summer and I can rock it as if it is still wintertime. This shirt will come in handy when I am secreted away to Texas.
The new Cold Play album is pretty much the last one, with slightly different lyrics. Put the one you already have on shuffle and do not pay too close attention. It will save you money.
Yesterday, my sister and I went out to dinner to a chain restaurant that in every other place we have ever lived has offered all-you-can-eat buffalo wings on Wednesday. The added benefit of this is that for $8 each (including drinks!) my sister and I can have a meal that is on our diet plan because they offer �naked� (not breaded) wings. However, Hooters of Stepford does not have this Wednesday event.
Yes, I went to Hooters with my sister. Going to Hooters with your sister has to be one of the trashiest things you could possibly accomplish, right after going to Hooters at all. I felt like the trashiest Hebrew on Earth (eat it, Ariel Sharon) until Betty Already�s ex-husband came in. Or at least we are assuming (hoping & praying) there is only one miscreant like that on the whole, entire planet.
This man was too much, not because he was disgusting and at Hooters (at least I had a note from Dr. Atkins) but because he was not only wearing his gold medal from the Misogynist Olympics but he came there with who we initially assumed was his son and two daughters. Middle School Children need to go to Hooters, right after you give them the �Math is Hard, Take Home Economics� speech. I fully expected Kristy Waterman Plander (Financial Advisor to Presidents) to bust through a window and tae-bo this Hoosier in the face.
You could tell they come to Hooters with the Hoosier often because they knew all the waitresses and had a favorite waitress, they also knew what they liked and did not like because they had sampled so many things there.
Later on, because people like this are always loud and drink too much we ascertained that these were not his children, but whose children they were we will never know. He intended to drive them home after the four beers he had just waiting for the food, I have no idea what happened after we complained and left. It is okay for him and a thirteen year old boy to make dehumanizing remarks about the waitress, but the girls in attendance should not because �she isn�t a person, she�s a Hooter�s Girl,� if only I had learned that lesson as a boy, too.
I know I complained to the manager before I left, about him drinking so much and then driving those children anywhere. I think my sister did as well.
Ladies and Gentlemen: This is your Vice-President, Kipp! This was in one of my �googles� this morning. Kipp is fantastic.
Richard Nixon�s son-in-law is apparently thinking of running against Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton in 2006. I hope he does not, no one deserves that kind of humiliation.
Then, the news talks about why Senator Clinton should or should not run, and my guess is that at this point she will be running against Senator McCain with Senator Hagel at the bottom of the ticket (anyone paying attention can tell that Senator Hagel is running for Vice-President).
If Senator Clinton ran, she would win, the side that is uglier during an election is usually the side that loses and nothing gets conservatives to act in a classless way quite like the Clintons.
I think McCain is going to run because his milkshake brings the moderates to the yard. They are fools not to nominate the senator; he could bring moderates from both parties together while still pulling in his base. He could be the candidate to heal the nation � the Democrat Party has no such candidate.
Liberals will, of course, disagree but if liberals were in touch with moderates and what and how they were thinking we would not be discussing the second coming of the Clintons until at least 2012.
They would rather harp on overdoing 9/11 and their misperception of homophobia in Middle America or claim that any contest lost is the result of cheating instead of doing actual soul searching (if they do indeed have souls, Kipp reminds me that they do not).
I would buy the gun toting, war mongering, homophobic, wife beater rational for George Bush�s reelection if he had not outperformed himself in every municipality from his performance in 2000. John Kerry handed the President his reelection by not being an alternative to the President, by enthusiastically supporting him when it was wrong but popular and opposing him when it was unpopular but right.
My favorite part of the election (after Jib-Jab) was the debates, because John Kerry has great speaking skills, but showed that he did not have an adequate grasp of the issues or his opponent, while the President had a grasp of the issues but could have benefited from his own education reforms.
And, damn, Karl Rove is a genius.
That having been said, Senator Clinton should run because she will win in the same way that George W. Bush � nostalgia and a reaction to the hate of the opposition on the part of moderates � if she does not face Mc Cain.
Senator Clinton running would be the Battle for Everything. Both sides will go at each other like nothing else, it will be ugly and expensive, high stakes and low class, and as usual Senator Clinton will emerge with the mantel of victory and a martyr for the cause.
