reign of terror
I even called Peter (my friend the priest, my confessor) to talk to him about it because I rarely if ever feel remorse, and when I do, it is even more rare for me to express it. I told him I felt like I was an asshole, he assured me that I was an asshole with the uncanny ability to say the exact wrong thing to the wrong to the exact wrong time. It is like the time I was kicking around jokes with Marcy in the lunch like and I said, �your mom,� and she said, �your dad,� and I replied, �at least I know who my dad is,� to the one person who really has no idea who their father really is on the day she found out the person who was her father is not her father.
I have a talent.
The score, I believe is Aric (4) Christopias (1). He wins this round because he was joking about crying but that I called Peter and gave a REAL confession was something else since normally when I confess to Peter I say awful and untrue things to him.
I have confessed to or claimed responsibility for killing Chandra Levy, Hootie and the Blowfish (this is what I am most sorry for), the great tornados of 1996, the invasion of Grenada, and a few things that I said only to make him uncomfortable.
Prospective Kindergarteners are touring the school, and I forgot this, so I am sitting here (working, right) singing along to the iPod (Howie Day, just for your Meredith Elaine) and then I just leaned back in my chair and it tipped backwards and dumped myself on the floor as they were coming in the room. Maybe they will come for Kindergarten and pray that I am replaced before their student matriculates to this grade.
I hope so, too.
In a disgusting side note, this June will mark eleven years that I have lived in America and the twelfth year I have been using the same chap stick. I am sexy, right?
No one talks to me on my break, until I put on iPod on or open a book. Then people come up to you and ask you a million questions. �What is that?� �What are you listening to?� �What are you reading?� I do not open books to underline my loneliness and invite boring conversation, which is just how it works. I keep forgetting that other people do not have homework or do not read for the enjoyment of it.
Execute Order Sixty Three
Kipp and I take our roles as the President and Vice-President of Diary Land with all the seriousness that we take anything, and we should really apologize for that, but soon Kipp will return from her undisclosed, secure Starbucks and the obligatory Reign of Terror will begin.
When Kipp and I begin the reign of terror, Betty Already�s ex-husband is the first to go ( read here ) As soon as Kipp and I can find a way to make it blatant, but in a way that cannot be linked to us or make Lee or Betty look guilty, it will be done. I have directed Kipp, in her capacity as the Vice-President of Diary Land ( (read here) ) to have Halliburton kill this man and shave our initials into his back hair, as avoid incriminating either Betty or Lee. He has been served notice, this atrocity will not stand.
The safety and happiness of the Already Children is a priority of the Spritopias Administration. As I am the God Father of the Baby Kenobi (also, the Diary Land Baby) and that Boo is the Spiritual Leader of us all, we can have no great calling.
When we have other priorities, such as convincing Andrew not to suck so much, we will inform you.
For serious, the Chronicles of Boo are the reason I have yet to quit reading diaries. Of �Diarists I Want To Meet� Betty is first, Boo is a clear second.
