(I'm a driver, I'm a winner� things are gonna change, I can feel it)
Yesterday I sprained my ankle, or had it sprained for me, and today I subsisted on a diet of pain pills, milk shakes, the comic genius of Bangladesh and the various forms of alcohol available to me here at the church (you would be surprised) I felt like Betty Ford � except I am sure I could marry better.
However, due to my incapacitation I was unable to move quickly at work, leaving me to work the front counter with Glenda, who either: did not know if she was a good or bad witch or was ignoring me. I wonder if anyone noticed I was loopy, I wonder if you even can.
One thing I will say about working the counter at lunchtime is people who do manual labor have their own special smell. I do not know if it is the smell of money or the odor of �I should have paid better attention in school,� but I do know that it is unpleasant and curbed my own hunger � which is only increased by my self medicating while avoiding seeing a doctor. I am amazed that you could smell that bad and eat at the same time.
Also, if you make every effort to look like a man, do not be insulted when I compliment your work by calling you, �Sir.� You went to the effort of looking manly and probably would have been more insulted if I had not noticed.
Aric, my oppressor, did not work today but came in to make sure someone snarked me today. His jab was, �you know how to work the register?� Which is fair, I do use a Mac and cannot walk and chew gum at the same time, it is conceivable that the register at a fast food place is beyond my education.
Today I received an email that said, �Get paid for what you are already doing!� It was for SPERM DONATION. Finally, we can send Aric to college and he can pay for it himself. Teenage boys could single handedly revitalize our economy with as little as five minutes a day.
This must really put the other Republicans in a pickle: what to do? Make money on the slaughter millions of potential voters/crazy evangelicals or do they continue to flush them down the toilet to maintain the illusion that sex is used only for procreation (party building) and never recreation?
While I am in the gutter, Pandionna and I were looking at (read: mocking) someone�s family photo album on Buzz Net and talking about how the father in the family was habitually unemployed. I made the statement, and I stand by it, that if I had a vagina, I would demand to see a solid resume and employment history before I ever let someone put their penis in me because there are few absolute truths left and one of them is: stupid people are abnormally fertile. Also, stupid people have a bad habit of being incredibly attractive and it would be my luck to catch some STD (read: fetus) from one of them.
