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Duchess of Cornwallio

April 10, 2005
Camilla Parker Bowles is now the Duchess of Cornwall. I keep thinking of Beavis and Butthead and expecting her to pull her shirt over her head and start shouting, �Are you threatening me? I am the Duchess of Cornwallio! I need TP for my bunghole!�

She would have to take off that �hat� to be the Duchess of Cornwallio, properly at least. I think the elaborate hats are a ploy on her part to be the next Queen of the Naboo since being Queen of England is out of the question for her. Other possible reasons for her hats include:
1. Self defense mechanism � those hats may deflect produce thrown at her in grocery stores
2. If you are looking at her hat you are not noticing her poor dental hygiene
3. The feathers cover up the horns growing out of her forehead
4. It detracts from looking at her product of inbreeding son
5. Feathers are actually TP for her bunghole
6. She already scares children (and dwarves) so it does not matter what is on her head, and she may as well roll with it
7. That is her �bed head�
8. It is a net used to catch bugs and tiny birds for later consumption
9. Boosts cell phone reception
10. They wear those hats because no one is going to say anything to them, she is married to the Future King and aspiring tampon, people are fearful of a breech in protocol. C3PO would poop a brick if you went up to her and said, "you know, you look like a moron in that! How many birds died so you could look like an ass?"

3:32 PM :: 8 comments so far ::
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