Today, we pass through the realm of Golf Widow
I am not talking about lusting after them in the teacher�s lounge. I am not talking about daydreaming about them when I pass Dunkin Donuts. I am talking about my subconscious fixating on them while I sleep. Glazed, Boston Cream, chocolate cake, powdered (or as Marion Barry and I like to call them, �I ain�t up to nothin�), and glazed with chocolate icing and sprinkles are all in my dreams. In my last dream I fought my best friend for a donut, lost, and wept bitterly. I talked to him on the phone tonight and had a hard time not saying something about it. He should have let me have the donut.
I am ready to start dating again, so I will be accepting applicants. Please be aware that I am not willing to date people on the internet and I still have my training wheels on. Your emotional baggage must fit under the seat. The aforementioned subconscious donut depriving best friend gave me dating advice so I am eager to try it out because something has to work, and this is not. I am sure he figures if I am dating, I will be too busy to bother him on the phone, and when I do, I will be less frustrated or tense. He is usually right; but to use this advice I first have to get that date.
At least this time, in dispensing advice (and subconsciously depriving donuts) he did not call me, �grasshopper.�
Today is the Big Field Trip� we will be passing through the realm of Golf Widow on our way down to our location. Golf Widow, if you are mooned on the way to work or home by a minivan full of boys � it was someone else�s class. I hope. I hope, fervently.
A full report on the Big Field Trip� will be forthcoming.
Yesterday we had parent teacher conferences, topics included:
(1) Spritopias, how great thou art
(2) Bemoaning �No Child Left Behind�
(3) Praising �No Child Left Behind�
(4) Explaining why a child was left behind on the last field trip
(5) A request that parents spend more time spanking the left behind (and the right)
(6) Apologies to Spritopias for not loving him dearly enough and mistreating him
