so much for "the fat guy never wins"
When I was a student in University, my roommate and I reviewed and then bent the rules of our Synod in the formation of a church and upon learning that it was invalid, we formed our own Synod. We are two of three members of the Lutheran Church-Melissa Synod, named after our Pastor Melissa (who has asked that we not use her last name in case she is found out).
Yesterday my students accidentally joined in on our abomination by writing beautiful essays how Jesus was the Melissa and had come to save the genitals. One child definitely wrote that The Melissa had come to shave the Jews and genitals. The Principal has the paper and will discuss it with the child�s parents. Although we all agree this has more to do with poor handwriting than summers spent at the Never Land Ranch.
Yesterday I did my taxes, using Turbo Tax. Turbo Tax took the three-day tax preparation extravaganza and condensed it into two hours. I compulsively check my taxes over and over so it takes a while; this process is compounded by my status within the church and my provided housing.
I also spent one of my birthday gift certificates on a Howie Day album. So far, it is not bad. I like that I can listen to most of an album on iTunes before actually committing to it. The album is Stop All The World Now.
My sister commented that I was eating too much bacon on my diet (Atkins), which is not necessarily true; I just ate a lot of it that night. I told her that if I had a heart attack because of this diet, at least I would not be a pain in the crass to carry me in and out of the church. Of course, this reminded both of us that she is going to have me cremated and flushed down the toilet at Starbucks. From Starbucks you came and to Starbucks you will return. I really could care less if I dropped dead tomorrow because when people see my body they will say, �He looks fantastic!�
In May we launch the Tour De Diarist, and I have to be �leave your husband hot� for the event. opening early in select cities, check your local sad-rag for details
Report cards went home last week and next week are conferences. Parents are amazing humans when it comes to their children�s educations and the lengths they will go to make it as difficult as possible. I cannot go into too much detail about what their problems currently are but it is enough to say that refusing to talk to your child�s teacher but berate them and gossip about them in front of your child is one of the stupidest things you could do.
