You wouldn�t want to walk up to the WRONG five hundred pound man

I only watch television once a week, Thursday. Church is on Wednesday now so there will be no more West Wing in my mind-numbing diet. However, the people who call me know that the only time I sit in front of the television is Thursday and felt compelled to call me anyway. The messages left are great: �I know you�re home, why won�t you pick up?� For one hour and a half I would like to be left alone to shut off my brain, the forces of the universe contrive that time as the one where people should call me.

My friend got new glasses, I would love nothing more to post them here so you all could experience them. They look like swim goggles. I was walking beside them today, I wanted to puff out my cheeks and act as if I was swimming beside her. The glasses are bigger than her head and exaggerate her need to read anything, ever. We have reached a point where I am calling someone ridiculous and that says a great deal about the person.

I am not a royal watcher but we are all too interested in Prince Charles� engagement to Camilla Parker Bowles. If they are happy, we should be happy for them. I find it absurd that people I work with are upset by this but these are the same retards who could not be bothered to vote for a Presidential candidate or know who they even were, but live by the mantra �ask not what American Idol can do for you, but what you can do for American Idol.� Text messaging Ryan Seacrest as to who should be the next American Idol is a sacred civic duty! We all have to do our part. Everyone deserves to be happy, I would not want to stand in the way of their happiness. I hope to find my own horse-faced woman to write love letters with stomach wrenching metaphors and to live happily ever after with. Prince Charles found his one true love thirty-five years ago, let him marry her. Is that not a better example than living together outside of marriage?

At least they will not be making babies together.