those who can't

Someone who fancies himself an enlightened, open-minded fellow left me a note the other day �Those who can�t, teach. Those who can�t teach, teach elementary school.� This always comes from people who would never survive as a teacher because every interaction with this person proves �everyone who disagrees with me is wrong� and that kind of liberal intolerance would never fly in a classroom.

However, I propose a reality program for anyone who thinks for a minute that teaching is somehow a job for the stupid, inept, or those unable to find other avenues of employment.

They will have to teach a full year in a public school or parochial inner-city mission. You will live off the salary for a teacher in that school without access to lines of credit or savings from previous employment. You will have to live in the housing that salary affords you, drive the car you have been tooling around in since high school or University with its unpredictable quirks and fickle desire to run (or not).

Be prepared to get up at four (if you workout) or five in the morning so you can be out the door and at school when it opens to teachers and custodial staff at 6:30 to get ready for the day, making any last minute copies and adjustments to plans or changes to the classroom�s physical environment or if you are the anomalous teacher whose plans stay completely on track all year, review your lesson plans before rushing off to morning meetings or duties, when the students arrive you will be on your feet for the next eight hours with only a fifteen minute lunch so make sure you use the restroom before the bell rings.

School gets out around three but you do not leave until seven or eight: marking papers, calling parents, the police, social services, tutoring children, going to meeting, coaching sports or advising activities (which is rarely compensated for) before going home to take care of your own family and planning lessons or units writing tests, quizzes and assignments; and crafting projects to keep things interesting and authentic. The younger the student the more effort this takes, ask Boxx 9000 , who teaches Kindergarten (or is an aide, I forget which) and I am sure they will tell you how incredibly difficult it actually is.

You may need to seek a part time job as well because legislators who care about education are (gasp) applying standards to teachers and you will need a Master�s Degree that your school is not going to help pay for.

I am sure you are thinking, �my job is hard too!� I have done your job. I have worked in the corporate world, government bureaucracies, nonprofit organizations and NGOs, retail, fast and other food services � I did all these jobs so become a teacher so I know your job and I know that teaching is by no means inferior vocation.

You wouldn�t last a week.