painfully stupid parents

A boy in my class had his coat peed on by a cat, so my classroom reeked of cat urine the whole day. I had a hard time not being cross, especially to him. I hate cats and one good reason is they pee on things. The kid denied it when the other children accused him of it, but it was him. He is the only one with a cat whose mother would send him into school smelling like one. Today was this boy�s day to be leading the fiascos.

We have been studying the Presidency as an institution and looking at a few Presidents, learning details and fun facts, and each of my students is doing a report on one of the Presidents. To bring this unit of study to a close we are going to watch the Presidential Inauguration on Thursday, which causes us to miss our regularly scheduled lunch and recess.

I know I live in a blue state. I know I teach children who would rather play outside than watch the news. I had to think of something to compensate for a Kerry supporter having to watch the President�s inauguration during recess, so I decided to make this into an �Inauguration Party.� I am going to bring some snacks (and by �snacks� I mean �food in my apartment that I cannot eat on my diet�) and I am letting them order pizza. I thought a pizza party would cancel a missed recess in their minds.

Not Cat Pee Boy, He could not be unhappier about this party. First, he does not play during recess; he sulks around or plays his game boy. This is not for lack of athletic talent, this is not for lack of friends, it is his choice to remove himself from the group and scowl at it but God forbid he not get this time he would normally rather be inside. Second, although he has lobbied for pizza parties in the past and even suggested Dominos as the place to get our pizzas, he suddenly dislikes pizza and parties in general, so no one should have pizza � just because he did not want it. It was inconceivable to him to bring his own lunch or take regular hot lunch and let everyone else have fun.

This could have stopped at that but his mother called after my planning period to complain about the party, pizza and how since Cat Pee Boy did not want it, we should not have the party at all. He faked sick during gym to call his mother and have her exert her influence to have me cancel the party. You may have read about her husband here.

I am still having the party. The other children are excited about the party. They have worked hard on this unit, and their reports. Get this: they have never had a pizza party in school before. For this reason alone they should get pizza, and if I were not afraid of clowns I would order one of those too. I cannot eat pizza on my diet, but I am allowing them to have it and I am paying for it.

I am thankful, so thankful that out of all my students I only have one student with painfully stupid parents. Too bad I work for one of them and it is even worse that they think they can manipulate the policy and practice of my classroom.

Anyone But Bush! types, please note: this was in my lesson plans before the school year began, and before John Kerry even won his party�s nomination. This is an important historical event and one they should watch.