day three diet tips

I have been dieting for three days now and I have some insights to share:

1. Wear your iPod when you weigh yourself. It is a little known fact that your iPod can weigh anywhere from ten to one hundred pounds. This little known fact can save you a great deal of agony. If you do not have an iPod, you may never lose weight.

2. Look at the kilograms on the scale, not the pounds. This moves me from two Olsen twins to one Olsen. The metric system is the wave of the future, so check out your kilograms and party like it is 1979

3. If you really eat the fiber and drink the water you are supposed to, you will not have time to exercise or be hungry

4. Find a good book or subscribe to a magazine you enjoy (see number three)

5. When your diet does not seem worth it remember: there are worse things than being fat � you could be ugly. You can lose weight, ugly is forever.

6. A big butt is not as bad as a mullet.

7. In colonial times being overweight was a sign of affluence. Do not think of yourself as overweight, think of yourself as affluent, it does wonders for your self-esteem. It is one of the reasons that Michael Moore is the happiest man on earth.

8. Eat at home. Doing those dishes and cooking will get so boring you will stop eating all together.