Springsteen & Madonna (way before Nirvana)

We are having a snow day tomorrow. The principal announced this after Chapel; you would think we had just given them each a bag of money. They were so happy. My class thinks they are going to have homework, but that is a lie. I am not going to give them homework on a snow day. Snow days are a gift from God that I do not want to sully with equations and sentence diagrams.

I am listening to this song, �1985� and I remember when MTV played music, Springsteen & Madonna (way before Nirvana) but to tell you the honest truth MTV would play the same lame videos over and over. Some groups had great videos like Aha with �Take Me On� but they are also a one hit wonder. They put their all into that video and now they�re spent.

Tomorrow I am starting my diet. I finished the diet book last night, tonight I will start to prepare diet-approved snacks and take out meals for when I am at work. Hopefully this will work out for me. I was reading about the effects of the diet and it said that the diet was a diuretic and in my ignorance I assumed that since diuretic sounded like diarrhea it must be a fancy word for laxative. The diet became less appealing to me if I was losing weight because I would be spending a large part of my day in the restroom. However, as I read further it started talking about constipation I got confused and scared. How could something simultaneously cause diarrhea and constipation? Did I really want to sign up for that? Then, I remembered my friend Mr. Dictionary! Many of us grew up in the seventies and eighties, and remember these archaic things called �books.� Back in the day, you would look things up instead of referring to Jeeves or Google. Using the Dictionary is easy, especially since my parents bought me new furniture. �Dictionary,� �Holy Bible,� and, �Book of Mormon� are no longer synonyms for �that which levels the couch.�

In looking up what diuretics are I am horrified to know that I am going to be peeing as a second job but I try to drink eight pitchers of water a day so I might not notice that I have a problem at all. I do not feel ignorant for not knowing that a diuretic is; why should I know?

By the way, they sell the Book of Mormon at Sam�s Club. Who would buy that? If you call the Mormons, they will send a college student on a bike to your house with one and a copy of the King James Bible. Paying for it is insane � especially if you are lonely. It is like calling a prostitute for the conversation, my roommate in college, Nancy, would argue with them and it was excellent.

I like to build forts with the ones that I have collected so far.