I would give you your horoscope, but it would only enrage you more

What is it about the thirty-first day of a month that causes so much confusion for the statisticians at Diary Land? I am confused by having months with thirty-one days at all while February only has twenty-eight days and sometimes twenty-nine.

There is nothing like the feeling of being in your own home after being on a vacation, although you only have yourself to blame for the lack of milk in the refrigerator. This is fine because the only cereal in the house is Chex Mix and that tastes terrible in milk. That was advice I was given that I am passing on to you, free of charge as a courtesy, you can make your own decisions as informed adults.

My fear of sleeping in on the first day back to school was unfounded. My alarm clock is disloyal but my heroin addicts are my heroines and heroes for today. They were outside my window early this morning waiting for the methadone clinic to open, exchanging stories of their Christmases and Happy New Years. I am glad they are getting their lives back on track and I am glad they are so very loud and inconsiderate to the fact that they are being so loud outside the homes of sleeping people. Without them, I think I would be late for work and I really cannot stand that. The alarm clock is one step away from falling off the tracks onto a train to the gulag.

This is one area where I miss the dog. The dog would never let you sleep passed five in the morning, six on the weekends. He had a stomach like an atomic clock. He knew exactly when you should wake up and feed him and he would never fail you in his mission to get your lazy butt out of bed, into the cold kitchen to feed him. Yes, they fed that dog in the kitchen but I do not see why not considering they let him in the house at all. I found a picture of him at home with a sign strapped to him that said, �Got Milk?� We have no idea why this picture was taken or when � but it had to be a couple months before he died because it was after I moved out of the house and into Connecticut.

I am glad to be back in Connecticut, back in New England, back in blue states no matter how Republican I am. There is no place like home and even if there is a town full of robots somewhere here in Connecticut then so be it. Connecticut is the best, even if someone (honestly Yvonne and Golf Widow, I wanted to call you I was laughing so hard at this) someone wanted to buy space on a billboard on the Merritt Parkway with my face on it saying I was mean to them (which I really was not) exposing their ignorance of all things Connecticut and Lady Bird Johnson (God Bless her and all Texans).

Have a good day today at work, school or whatever occupation fills your time.

I have no idea who �Grunt� is, they leave the best comments but no way to contact them back and thank them for it.