faux kipp?

Today I took my car into get the oil changed. This is usually a fiasco. I get free changes at the dealer where I bought my car so I go there every time I am in town, if my car needs it or not. My parents live on the frontier of civilization so my car usually needs one by the time I get here anyway.

I left an hour before my appointment because of the snow and ice on the roads but I suppose the ice and snow kept enough people off the roads that I just sailed there and waited for an hour for them to work on my car at all. I was annoyed (because there always has to be something) by the people who leave snow on their cars when they leave their houses. Sure, it will just fly off your car but they never stop to consider the fact that the snow that falls of their cars hits someone else�s car. I think the reason that there are more dead cars lining the roads here can be followed back not to a lack of plows, tow trucks or the preponderance of snow but the fact that people here are inconsiderate. I am sure that most of the accidents could have been prevented if people were a little more considerate when they were driving.

Normally the waiting room is a trauma for me: kids and animals roaming about making noise, people blabbing on their cell phones so the world has to hear them, and something retarded blaring from the television. This time I had my iPod with me, God bless that little white box, but it was not enough to overcome the power of Kipp�s singing � or at least I thought it was Kipp because the receptionist who was doing nothing (first clue) but chatting on IM (second clue) and was crooning along to Clay Aiken�s CD (final clue). It was terrible so I shouted (do not fool yourself, I say these things aloud), �KIPPLES! BE QUIET!� Click here to go get your Kipp on.

Kipp did not stop when I told her to so I got up to get my snark on and low and behold, it was a FAUX KIPP! It was a monster of a woman! It was as if Michael Moore had a sex change but decided not to shave! That woman was also wearing a Kerry/Edwards button; to add insult to the injury God had dealt the woman in looking like Mr. Moore. I killed the woman, but it was for the good of the Republic. I killed that woman because I love you.

I also had to pay a million dollars for a new battery. I also do not get to keep the old one (which I would do for the absurdity and because my Hebrew sense compels me to do those things). I could have replaced the battery myself but I can do many things and cannot to be troubled to do things myself. I would have to deprive people of their jobs or my money.

I made a new ad today. 100% of the three people I asked about it, liked it.