please return your seats to the uptight position
First, if the plane crashes into the water it would hit with such a terrible impact that the only thing remaining would be those floating seats, but no passengers would live. They would find the wreckage by the floating seat cushions in a ring where the plane had sunk to the bottom of the ocean with the little black box � which is actually orange. Someone told me that, in case I was ever looking for the little black box myself.
Second, and this is more important than the fact that we would not actually survive the water landing, we would die waiting in the water. Imagine this: we would freeze to death in the cold water waiting for our rescue not unlike the ending of Titanic.
LEONARDOPromise me, [gasp] you�ll never let go
KIPP[lights a cigarette] Get off my door, bitch! [KIPP! stomps on his fingers] You are going to get me wet or cause me to sink too! Bitches, Please!
Then can you imagine what would happen if we landed some place warm, and survived. The rescue would never come � they would assume that we were dead � so we would be there floating and bobbing in water that was most likely shark infested and then have to start to swim toward land.
First, I would get us lost. Go ask jyram, I cannot find my way out of a wet paper bag. We are both lucky Manhattan is a tiny island. Second, you have to consider that Kipp and I would actually be too lazy to kick our way across a swimming pool, much less the Caribbean, you realize that we would not go. We would float there, talking on our cell phones, taking pictures for buzz net - but make no effort to actually move until Kipp needed a cigarette and which point she would hold onto to someone else and let them pull her back to a place where her cell had more bars. I would start to move when I saw a mirage that looked like Chili�s.
See what I mean? Those things are useless!
