some lights seem eternal
in this springtime of hope

Chanukah

December 07, 2004
Today is the Annual Chanukah Party at Saint Spritopias School. This is when I teach the children that Jews are poisoning our wells, created the Insurance Industry to cheat us out of our money, invented the Holocaust to make the Nazi Germans look bad (What about the GOOD things Hitler did?), and control the media/entertainment industry to oppress Michael Jackson and other white women.

Oh, wait � that is all a crock of crap.

We learn about Chanukah because Judaism is an important part of our heritage as Christians. Christianity is the natural conclusion of Judaism, we have the same God and the same basic tenants of faith.

We also made and played dreidel today, which was a great, subversive way to teach catechism to the children during the Syrian occupation.

Every time I mention anything religious, but especially Hanukah, people point out that there is not a great deal of historical evidence of this event but there is less evidence of Alexander the Great and no one doubts he existed. There is also more objective, secular evidence that Jesus rose from the dead than there is about Alexander the Great and that is why the Passion of the Christ was a more popular movie than Alexander.

Unfortunately, playing driedel smacks of gambling and that is not something of which, I am a fan. At least it is not fasting. I can think of no greater waste of time than NOT eating.

Fasting makes people crabby, remind me never to adhere to a faith that requires it. I need no help getting my snark on. What you need is a copy of Golf Widow and Missy Elliot�s single �Get Your Snark On.� Kipp and I will be releasing our first Kippmas album �The Holidays Are All About Me� featuring the following lyric, �Christmas, Christmas time is near...time for toys and time for beer, we've been bad, we've had a blast, hurry Christmas hurry fast�


Back when I started out here on Diary Land, I had a huge crush on Golf Widow�s Page because she had her act together. I always admire someone who knows what they are doing. Someone repeatedly has pointed out that I do not have a �contact page� with a disclaimer about my contact options. It was updated on June of 2003 to reflect the correct spelling of hydrocephalic.

I copied the idea of a �contact� page from her. If you look at the contact link, it is there on your left and is a little tinnier than the other headings because it is a link.

I know have a holistic respect for Golf Widow. I think holistic should be spelled with a �w.�


The opposition to my administration issued a statement that I was not the president � however there are some important points to consider � beside the fact that the election was over a month ago and disputing it now is a little silly.

I am still President.
1) I do have a disclaimer (http://spritopias.diaryland.com/Contact.html) and have directed you there before - the best construction is that you missed that in broken emails.

2) I ALWAYS did you and others the courtesy of finding a flattering picture of a celebrity who isn't evil when putting your picture - and told you before I put it up if you wanted a different picture instead, I detest facial hair, I'm very hurt.

3) I sent you the election results and posted them on my page

4) I directed Kipp to create a Court System based on TELEVISION because then everything would wrap up in ten to fifteen minutes complete with snappy commercials. Also, for your edification and out of respect, that Mistril...person (I can't spell it) came out of no-where and started hacking at me. I politely emailed him for a while concerning his judgments - he started in on my notes. I pretty much leave alone that leaves me alone.

3:09 PM :: 3 comments so far ::
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