this is the entry where I use the biggest letters I have to say 'bitch' and offend a demographic of which I am a part

I would like to talk to a human being. I am tired of calling my bank, or anyone really, and getting an automated voice. The woman who voiced this phone call sounds like Mrs. Incredible. There is just a small hint of something remarkably like a speech impediment. It is very distracting. I cannot articulate exactly how distracting it is.

After complaining in that first paragraph about just how much I would like to talk to a real person, I spoke to a real person, a really interesting person. She told some story about her daughter being in a special program at school and how she was doing really well in that program. It pays to talk to people because you learn things from them. That last sentence was incredibly sappy, and I am embarrassed that I wrote it.

I received an email from one of the administrators at the school I used to work at. She had nothing nice to say, and I am not sure what her problem is but I am glad that I no longer have to deal with her on a personal basis. I also received an email from someone who is unhappy that I ran over his dog. How horrible am I?

I did not run over their dog. Had I run over their dog I would have eaten it. I would never tell Yvonne about it either. I have my glove out; I am about to catch hell.

Today I was also told that if you do not have anything nice to say, you should say nothing at all. In fact the person said, �didn�t your mother ever teach you that if you don�t have anything nice to say to say nothing at all?� Oh and yes it is coming:

Bitch, Please!

I love that mantra. Be a doormat. Just take people�s shit. What-the-hell-ever. I would not even say that not saying anything was the Christian thing to do. We are allowed to take your ass to the mat. We are called to activism and standing up for what we believe. I will not sit here, take people�s garbage with a smile on my face, and keep my opinion to myself.

I think, �If you don�t have anything nice to say, don�t say anything at all� is the standard response of people who cannot handle criticism, who do not enjoy being questioned, and want to seem morally superior when someone knocked over their house of cards.

There is a point where you do not need to go out of your way to be rude to people but there is also a difference between being rude and being honest. It is why I am glad I escaped the Mid West. They have it all wrong there; they should not be called Red States. They should be called the doormat states, red is far to bold for people obsessed with decorum over decency.

Also, I knew that Joanna would not really become a Stepford wife. Honestly, I know Joanna and she is not Stepford.