would the real karen walker please stand up? please stand up?

Esmeralda and I believe that Martha Stewart should be freed from prison. We want her back on TV, making cakes. She was oppressed because she was a rich, white woman. The only people she �hurt� by her �crime� are other rich, white �people� and if you are a good, patriotic American like the Democratic Party wants you to be, you know that rich, white people are not people at all! Martha did not hurt anyone that matters.

Meanwhile, dead beat dads, rapists, people who do not pay their student loans or return rental movies on time roam the streets free, hurting real people. We keep �outsourcing� jobs and �in-sourcing� asses. Let us not forget the people who cannot park or drive their SUVs, the jerk that cannot put his grocery carriage back, the millions of you buying Britney�s CDs, and any of us who voted for Nancy Johnson (R-CT) for Congress.

Tim Wilson, comedian, had this to say about Martha Stewart: "Boy, I feel safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. & Kobe are walking around, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul her ass to jail."

Seriously, they put Martha in jail not because she hurt �people� but because they were jealous of her success. It is the real reason I do not read or link Squirrel X.

But, back to rich white women: I do not watch Will & Grace because I find their marginalization of homosexuals to be funny or clever, but I do find their marginalization of rich, white women to be high comedy. There is nothing funnier than an alcoholic, drug addict, rich white woman � unless you are thinking of Betty Ford � and in Karen you have the success of Will & Grace. No one cares if Grace gets back together with Harry Connick Jr., no one cares if Will does what Will does. We are waiting for the pearls of wisdom to drop from Karen�s mouth.

Karen is like the classic comedy (and by �classic,� I mean I like it) �Absolutely Fabulous.� Karen is that whole show rolled into one person. That show is great because it is rich, white women, hopped up something going about their lives which are more ridiculous than I can ever hope for � but do anyway.

I am happy as a straight white man living in America, but I would still like to live the Patsy Stone/Theresa Heinz Kerry life, even if just for a year. I think I could take the marginalization. Let us be honest, Theresa Heinz Kerry is the inspiration for Karen Walker.

Although, once I hit it big, Kipp will take that to the next level and shame Theresa Heinz Kerry. Shame her.

I cannot believe I devoted space in my brain to that.

FREE MARTHA