I can see W's bald spot from where I sit

Today is Suburban Island�s Birthday (the diarist � not the diary), she is the Room Mother of Diary Land, and because of my matriculation to the presidency of Diary Land, she is now the Barbara Bush of Diary Land (the mother of the President, not alcoholic daughter). Since Diary Land is actually a service based in Canada, she would be the Queen Mother or something similar, she is not dowdy so we are just going to refer to her as the Barbara Bush.

As you know, Cree Patron is the now the Vice-President of Diary Land. Golf Widow will fill the important role of Secretary of Snark, as we know the most important role in any Diary Land cabinet. To own the truth, she will be the Henry Kissinger of Secretaries of Snark.

My opponent stated on her page that in her polls before the election she garnered 100% of the twenty-five votes cast, clouding my election with doubt, however she only polled her readers. Floridians have been called in to recount the votes, I have asked my father to appoint a Supreme Court to mediate any disagreements that arise between the two campaigns, my sister will be the Governor of the State of Confusion (the state whose votes are in question) and Forty-Plus has agreed to cake on enough cosmetics to keep Avon and Mary Kay in business for the next millennia and be the Secretary of State for the State of Confusion.

This is all silly because I won Paulsylvania and we all know that the Paulsylvania has more electoral votes than any other state. Also, my dog died � everyone should have voted for me just on that. He has been gone two terrible weeks, today.