some lights seem eternal
in this springtime of hope

Texachusetts

October 15, 2004
The best part of a banner run is the great new people who list you as a read. However, right now I am listed by Suburban Island, Alternamommy, Golf Widow, Betty Already, Ink Dragon, Trinity Sixty Three and (for the time being) by B-W-P. My reaction to those seven people listing me is, �POOP! They are such better diarists and writers than I am!� This is not unlike the showers in high school. I hope coach is right and no one is looking. Thank you to everyone who lists me; I am unusually humbled by the fact that you find this interesting enough to read.

Today�s edition in brief

� I am running for President of Diary Land, not Pope
� I am disgusted by Kerry/Edwards� latest political trick with Mary Cheney
� The Methadone Clinic must have worked, gone out of fashion or moved

Currently, I am running for President of Diary Land. I am not interesting in being your Pope. We already have enough holy than thou types writing away at this site, you do not need my moralizing added to the fray but if I were to be the Pharisee of Diary Land I would go after the other Christians first before I started calling out other people as infidels, heretics, and heathens.

I will say to this Pharisee Party of Diary Land: that is not how Jesus went about his father�s business and it is not how you should go around doing it either. Jesus started a new covenant with the world and operated under a construct that most �Evangelicals� (which means of the Gospel) ironically do not use, and that is a Gospel construct. Jesus approached people in a loving way and even though he had the ability to see into people�s hearts, he never used that information to be a jerk. Most religions recognize that Jesus was a great man or at least a decent human being, they many not worship him as the Son of God and Savior of Humanity* but they do not hold the same high opinion of us, His followers, because we do not follow him well � we just take part of what he taught us and beat other people over the head with it.

If you want to be win people over then be nice to them, like Jesus. If you want to alienate people you just keep doing what you are doing because you are doing an EXCELLENT job of loosing friends and alienating people.

I am Spritopias, and I approved this message.

Cree Patron and I are running for President and Vice President of Diary Land. I will be President. Cree Patron will be Vice President. Only one person has decided to run against us but they really have a long shot as they have no platform, no plan, and no Queen Mother of Diary Land. We have a Queen Mother in Suburban Island; that beats all.

I am asking for your vote and your support. My platform is simple. We support Robo-Sexual Rights, the criminalization of the mullet, a reorganization of the calendar and alphabet, mandatory waxing of all hair below and in your ears, a tax break for the bottom 100% of all Diary Landers, and an end to the illegal war on Live Journal. I will fight the terrorists at Xanga, oh yes I will!

My opponent however has no plan, they flip flop as they goose step across Diary Land imposing on our freedoms with their rich spouse, and we all know they are only on Diary Land because of who their father and mother were! If you elect them president Diary Land they will confiscate your uterus, they have already confiscated my uterus. They are also a stupid intellectual hick blue blood Texachusetts bleeding heart right wing liberal who can morph into Ted Kennedy and Pat Nixon�s love child!

They list me as a favorite, how bad can they be?

Mary Cheney

I am annoyed by Senator Kerry, and Senator Edwards using the Vice-President�s daughter for their political advantage but I am disgusted that Elizabeth Edwards would assert that Lynne Cheney was ashamed of her daughter. I honestly felt like I was going to throw up when I read that.


Dear Senators Kerry and Edwards, Mrs. Catsup and Jenny Craig,

You have the gay vote. No homosexual in their right mind would vote for someone actively campaigning to take away or prevent them having a basic human right. No one would do that; it is lunacy. However, you have turned me off. At once I merely disagreed with you but now you make me sick.

Sincerely,
Spritopias

Methadone, I barely knew you!

My apartment shares a parking lot with a methadone clinic that has seen less and less patrons over the past few months. This could mean several things: The Methadone is no longer working, or a clinic has opened in a more fashionable neighborhood. Maybe it is something else, I do not know. I do know that the recovering addicts are no longer waking me up before my alarm and my bladder has taken up the job or preventing my rest.

Just think, before I moved to Connecticut I did not know what methadone was or what it was used for, now I have a Methadone clinic within walking distance from my house!

From Yvonne, I found out this information about my name�

Name Origin: Greek (and all this time I had called it my �slave name�)
Number of Syllables: 3.00
Gender: Male

More interesting facts about the name C:
not that the above was remotely interesting

Lucky Number: 4
Ruling Planet: Uranus (giggles)
Element: Air
Primary Color: Green (isn�t green a secondary color?)
Traits: Inclined to appear strange and eccentric because he is usually ahead of his time. Very interested in the occult; in psychic research. Inclined to do anyting out of the ordinary. Strong intuitive tendencies. Can be bitingly sarcastic if crossed. Believes in liberty and equality. Can usually predict the probable outcome of actions and businesses.

*Is �humanity� a sexist word? It has �man� in it and I know that is taboo, along with mankind, manicotti, dismantle, manikin, mannequin, and Manchester terrier � you cannot use those words anymore. Stop using sexist language, you pigs! And stop calling people, �pigs� as if pigs do not have ears or feelings either! How would you feel if you were a pig and people kept comparing you to Richard Nixon, Michael Moore, and Adolph Hitler? Without pigs, there would be no bacon and without bacon, the Atkins Diet would fail! All those nifty menu inserts would be for nothing!

3:39 PM :: 4 comments so far ::
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