they don't make them like they used to

I talked to my Great Grandmother this evening. I started the conversation by asking her how she was doing; we always start this way and she tells me about her week in the following way: health report, weather report, deaths in the family, why she misses her husband today or this week in a special way, she is happy about going to heaven, she will die soon too and how are you doing?

She did not follow her usual script and started with, �I was in a car accident last week and I fell.� This turned out to mean, �I fell trying to get into a fifteen passenger van.� It was a horrible shock. She is ninety-four years old, and like so many of you with older relatives, I revere her with great intensity.

They just do not make them like they used to.

She is beautiful, warm, intelligent, articulate (usually), and strong in her faith. Her faith is something that inspires instead of chastising you. It makes you respect her and her way of life. It makes you examine your own life � not from guilt but from coveting what she has: peace, contentment, and joy.

She inspires, not shames, you to follow her example. She really is a living example of God�s will for our lives. It is amazing.

I cannot imagine life without her. Her husband died when I was in First Grade and for perspective on that: I have taught First Grade. It was over twenty years ago and I remember him like it was yesterday � he was quite the personality and one you do not forget. The Princess was four when he died, she remembers him, and that speaks volumes for the impression that he leaves on others. Grandma (which is what we all call her, and no one else) misses him dearly. It is been twenty-one years since he passed on.

I do not want to think about my reaction to her death. She has been the one to comfort us through every one of life�s trials. What do you do when the person holding your hand lets go? She is ninety-four, eventually I will find out but I am not ready.

I worry more about my father and godfather�s reaction. Grandma and Grandpa were the only normal adults in their life � their parents certainly were far from normal and in many ways abusive by omission or commission. Loosing a mother like that is not easy, nor is it hard. Loosing the other adult who loved you when you were little will be hard, I think. It will also be hard to watch.

I hope she stays with us a good long while, but she has been saying she is ready to �go home� since Grandpa passed. Dad said, �She�s to ornery to die.� I hope he is right. When her time comes, she will be ready. We will not be.