some lights seem eternal
in this springtime of hope

run T-Rex, run

August 09, 2004
School starts in less than a month and my only accomplishment is compiling a huge to do list in preparation of the new school year. It is color-coded and prioritized. That is so sad.

I have said this a lot but I have to say it here to make it official: I will not be getting a Segway Human Transporter (SHT). First, they are crazy expensive. Second, walking is about the only exercise I do � that and running my mouth, typing and yawning. Third, if I am too lazy to walk I am also too lazy to stand. Fourth, I live near Dinosaur State Park. If one of those dinosaurs gets loose and I am on my Segway, how I am going to outrun them? Those things only go twenty-seven miles per hour. That T-Rex would eat me post haste.

I am not going to even start on how crazy it is to have a bunch of dinosaurs in the middle of Connecticut.

I feel like I am becoming Edward Norton in Fight Club without getting any of the fun of Brad Pitt in Fight Club. If I actually were in a fight club you know I could not tell you, Kipp beats the shit out of out me every time I let people in on the secret of the Diary Land Fight Club.

So, I have become the Edward Norton character as I flit from job to job. My apartment will slowly but surely, with the help of IKEA, my apartment will turn into some Euro Trash haven.

Since I live at work I feel like I need to have a presentable public space in my apartment. People come over all the time just to stop by or because they were in the building. They are nosey. I know what is up because I would do the same thing. I am just working up the dining room and living room. Metro-Sexual, poseur Euro Trash like myself tend to call this room the �Great Room,� as if we have some sort of Great Hall with suits of armor or something. Which, if IKEA sold suits of armor then I would have one.

My new obsession with IKEA is that they have nice things at Wal Mart prices. I am morally opposed to Wal Mart on so many levels. They destroy communities, destroy small businesses, have horrible labor practices, and treat women like objects. It should surprise no one then that the Clintons once sat on the board of Wal Mart. Also, Wal Marts are always dirty and filled with loud, trashy people. Also, they sell garbage. IKEA has nice things at a reasonable price.

I will not be surprised the day someone says to me, �Look what I got at Wal Mart,� and then follows that up with showing me ringworm.

My lunch is ready. Talk to you later.

Kipp and I have decided that Paul will now be his own state, Paulsylvania. We will represent him in Congress.

Also, I am working on a sound track for their road trip across America. I am compiling all the worst songs on my MP3 spinner onto disks and mailing them to Paul, the capital of Paulsylvania. Suggestions are welcome.

11:51 AM :: 3 comments so far ::
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