some lights seem eternal
in this springtime of hope

gettin' lucky in kentucky

July 15, 2004
I got to my parent�s house on Monday night. The first thing I did after getting all of my things in the house from the car and then slammed the dog�s tail in the door. Please, take a moment and read about the first time I did that here .

So, I am home now. My ride across America was different than it ever has been before.

Normally I start my trip between New Jersey and Kentucky in either direction with breakfast at Mc Donald�s. I start out long before I am ready to eat. After two hours on the road, I am ready for something to eat and to stop the car and stretch a bit. I did not on this trip and I think it made the trip easier. Do not tell me about the Mc Griddle, that sandwich is an abomination.

I learn a lot about America driving around it. In Philadelphia, there is a Hindi Radio Station. I should have programmed it in so you could listen to it as well. As you drive across Pennsylvania, you realize the genius of their rest stops, each one has a Starbucks, and I left money at each one I stopped at. I did this because I love coffee and I hate the people who bash Starbucks. There will be a Starbucks on every street corner that does not have a Walgreen�s Pharmacy in Heaven.

In Ohio they have posters where the show the pictures of Dads who have not paid their child support. Half of all the fathers in Ohio who do not pay child support have mullets, another quarter are bald and the others come from ethnic groups that have their own version on the mullet (the fu-man-chu or Jheri curl). The State of Ohio is trying to tell you something here. Men who cannot afford to update their hairstyle are not going to shell out for child support so do not, DO NOT, make babies with them.

Outside of Connecticut, no one knows how to drive.

Kentucky should change its name to �American Calcutta.� It is so dirty and a lame knock off of the Eastern Coast of India. The worst part of Connecticut is sadly better than the best parts of Kentucky.

They have this store, �Dawahares� that sells t-shirts with slogans from Urban Outfitters on crap graphics. Urban Outfitters is great but the knock offs are the worst. This is one of many examples of the lameness that bothers me about this place. The other is that insufferable ass I mentioned in the last entry.

I could go on and on about Kentucky but the people here are happy to be here, so why mock it? They have Jeff Foxworthy to do it for them.

2:47 PM :: 3 comments so far ::
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