free gift with torture

The Saturn dealer called the other day because they want me to trade in my car for a new one. I know how much I make and what my credit situation is because of this I know that I have as much chance of loosing my virginity to the Saturn dealer as I do of him giving me a deal on a new car.

I expect him to offer me one or two thousand dollars for a trade in on my car. It�s five years old, has nearly one-hundred thousand miles on it and has been broken into three times since I�ve moved here � I do not think I could trade this car in, not in good conscience. I would still pawn the POS off on someone else in a heart beat, don�t get me wrong but at the same time I would feel guilty � until I was riding around in a newer, safer, less broken into car.

We will see how it goes and what the story on this trade in is. There is apparently a free gift for my time. It had better not be mixing bowls; I am tired of those. I keep giving them away to people for wedding gifts even if it says who gave it to me in the first place. It is the thought that counts and if I thought well of you then I would go to your wedding and get you something nice.

Speaking of the offer of a �free gift,� it is not a free gift if I have to come listen to some speech about my car, trading it in and what value I can get in a new car so I am earning those mixing bowls the hard way.

Also, what gift IS NOT free? If it is a gift, it should be something they joyfully give with no strings attached. They should have me over to Saturn once a month and give me miscellaneous house wares for my personal benefit and because I am such a chipper young fellow. What I really want? I want Alice from the Brady Bunch. I want her as a free gift to come into my home, keep it up and feed me. That is what I would like. I would let her eat too and even have shoes for taking out the trash, no like those oppressive, leftist Bradys.

Well, it is time to go. We will see what happens.